and 2006 is almost up. a lot of people are doing last minute preparations for the new year.
as a recap for my 2006:
01. i fell in love
02. my heart got broken
03. i experienced moving on
04. i learned to trust people
06. got humiliated
07. failed a course
08. got my credit card
09. i spent more than what i can afford
10. became really irresponsible
11. got new friends
12. strated to cook again
13. became really lustful.. harharhar
14. took a lot of pictures
15. ran out of hard drive space
16. became technology dependent
17. became a dean's lister without studying and bringing anything to school
18. became active in posting blog entries
19. had a very lonely birthday
20. had a very lonely christmas
21. got 200 pesos ang pao for christmas
22. got only a shirt,a shocking pen,a jersey & a cap for xtmas/birthday/new year.
23. became a party addict
24. had a lot of UBE sessions with a lot of people within a month
25. got really drunk and puked a lot of times
26. made friends with people i didn't talk to before/enemies
27. got an offense from the DO
28. my mom found out that i smoke
29. my mom saw a lighter in my pocket
30. my mom saw a cigarette pack and a lighter in my pocket
31. my mom saw my cigarette case with yosi in it
32. asked information about my dad
33. so far the worst time of my life (december 2006)
34. smoked more than 1 and a half packs of cigarettes a day
35. experienced a lot of PR from DLSU, MS, GP and Leather Lifestyle
36. GP became my second home
37. drunk alcoholic drinks almost every other day as an average
38. was able to stay awake for 38 consecutive hours twice (one acad related, one love life related)
39. drank beer in a bar alone like in the movies
40. experienced IMAX
41. experienced living the life without electricity for 7 days
42. went home 10 onwards regularly without asking permission
43. ate in a reseturant with only my credit card - no cash at all
44. watched a movie for more than 5 times (RENT)
45. never recovered from a basketball injury last march (have problems with my index finger)
46. had someone i knew commit suicide
i will probably add some more once i start remembering the things i did for the year 2006
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Saturday, December 30, 2006
long day friday
anyway i was not able to make a post yesterday, december 29, 2006. i was really busy.
the things i did on friday:
i woke up at around 7 because our call time in microsoft is 8am sharp.... by around 7:10... i was still lying down on my bed... until my mom somewhat shouted... "hindi ka na tumigil sa kayoyosi!" and suddenly threw the empty cigarette pack of marlboro lights in my trash bin...
i still pretended not surprised and said it was my classmates... but deep inside... i was saying... "OH SHIT!!!!!!"
well.. my mom knows that i smoke.. it's just that.. she is not aware that i smoke regularly...
anyway... so i stood up and and opened my computer... checking chester's site for his wish list since he was the person i was supposed to give a gift to for our christmas party in microsoft. i wrote some of my choices in a small piece of paper... then jove called me... we talked for a while since she was waiting for ethel and abi... i went in the CR at around 7:40 already.... got out of the house at around 7:55...
and got to microsoft in the 16th floor at around 8:30... almost everyone was there...
by 9, jin and i went down to starbucks to buy some drinks... and to meet my "hakot" for the event in the morning... and since i only needed 1 sticker to complete the requirement to get my starbucks planner... i bought a hot peppermint mocha since the toffee nut latte was sold out and got my sticker but i decided not to get my planner since we were supposed to have a party after the casting sessions in microsoft.
anyway... everything went smoothly... it ended at around 4-5
during the casting session... i called up lou to show up despite the odds of her getting in... i just wanted her to try.... she did... she read her report for like less than 10 mins... while presenting, i can feel her nervousness... as much as i wanted her to get in, there were people a lot better than her but it does not mean she isn't good... and she is my friend and will always be....
after she presented, we went down to the 4th floor to hang out and have some UBE. and in the end, she encouraged me more... hehehe... THANKS LOU!
anyway... when everyone who auditioned went home already, the juniors were about to do the exchange gift but we waited for eugene and esmee since they will be comming from work. eugene came to the office at around 7???? anyway... everyone else was getting bored and was just playing the online game thingy and some were watching funny videos...
since we couln't wait for esmee since she will be comming from ortigas, we started our exchange gift. coy coy was not available and he got me... so i was the first to say something after the gift was given to me....
anyway... i got a cap and a jersey from coy and i really loved it!!! THANKS AGAIN!
everyone else was happy with what they got...
after that, we went to cafe bola in greenbelt 3 to eat.. had different discussions and in the end.. everyone else had to go home... although some were waiting for their ride so we went back and forth to powerbooks and music one. by around 9 something, we went to timezone and played foosball!!! i really had fun!!! damn!
then everyone really had to leave and so i walked with those going to 6750 coz i planned to get my starbucks planner already since i am going home. waited for the girls to go home then i proceeded to walk and think of what i am going to do next. wale and company texted me that they were at kroc grill and so i went there and bought a bottle of beer.
everyone had to leave at 12 and i got home around 12:30am
the things i did on friday:
i woke up at around 7 because our call time in microsoft is 8am sharp.... by around 7:10... i was still lying down on my bed... until my mom somewhat shouted... "hindi ka na tumigil sa kayoyosi!" and suddenly threw the empty cigarette pack of marlboro lights in my trash bin...
i still pretended not surprised and said it was my classmates... but deep inside... i was saying... "OH SHIT!!!!!!"
well.. my mom knows that i smoke.. it's just that.. she is not aware that i smoke regularly...
anyway... so i stood up and and opened my computer... checking chester's site for his wish list since he was the person i was supposed to give a gift to for our christmas party in microsoft. i wrote some of my choices in a small piece of paper... then jove called me... we talked for a while since she was waiting for ethel and abi... i went in the CR at around 7:40 already.... got out of the house at around 7:55...
and got to microsoft in the 16th floor at around 8:30... almost everyone was there...
by 9, jin and i went down to starbucks to buy some drinks... and to meet my "hakot" for the event in the morning... and since i only needed 1 sticker to complete the requirement to get my starbucks planner... i bought a hot peppermint mocha since the toffee nut latte was sold out and got my sticker but i decided not to get my planner since we were supposed to have a party after the casting sessions in microsoft.
anyway... everything went smoothly... it ended at around 4-5
during the casting session... i called up lou to show up despite the odds of her getting in... i just wanted her to try.... she did... she read her report for like less than 10 mins... while presenting, i can feel her nervousness... as much as i wanted her to get in, there were people a lot better than her but it does not mean she isn't good... and she is my friend and will always be....
after she presented, we went down to the 4th floor to hang out and have some UBE. and in the end, she encouraged me more... hehehe... THANKS LOU!
anyway... when everyone who auditioned went home already, the juniors were about to do the exchange gift but we waited for eugene and esmee since they will be comming from work. eugene came to the office at around 7???? anyway... everyone else was getting bored and was just playing the online game thingy and some were watching funny videos...
since we couln't wait for esmee since she will be comming from ortigas, we started our exchange gift. coy coy was not available and he got me... so i was the first to say something after the gift was given to me....
anyway... i got a cap and a jersey from coy and i really loved it!!! THANKS AGAIN!
everyone else was happy with what they got...
after that, we went to cafe bola in greenbelt 3 to eat.. had different discussions and in the end.. everyone else had to go home... although some were waiting for their ride so we went back and forth to powerbooks and music one. by around 9 something, we went to timezone and played foosball!!! i really had fun!!! damn!
then everyone really had to leave and so i walked with those going to 6750 coz i planned to get my starbucks planner already since i am going home. waited for the girls to go home then i proceeded to walk and think of what i am going to do next. wale and company texted me that they were at kroc grill and so i went there and bought a bottle of beer.
everyone had to leave at 12 and i got home around 12:30am
Thursday, December 28, 2006
international internet access at last!!!!
at last... i can access sites not based here in the country already!!!! yesterday... i could only access local sites such as msforums.ph and the like.... www.dlsu.edu.ph as well.. haha... but i can't check my mail... i can't even access blogger.com and multiply.com...
anyway.. today, i was at my cousin's place... i was supposed to accompany her while the guys who were supposed to repair their ref were doing their work.. but since there were parts needed... they didn't stay long... so we just hangged around.. talked for a while....
after going to my cousin's place.. i immediately went to ayala... to withdraw some money... to pay my credit card bills.... and some extra to be able to buy my gift for the party in microsoft tomorrow....
anyway... i also met jove in g4 to teach her how to get to microsoft tomorrow... then we just talked for a while... by around 7... i she went back to her dorm in la salle...
then i saw james in g4 alone also... so we went to the smoking area to smoke again.... and again... and again... he was going to meet his sister there... we talked for a while... then... when his sister cam.. we had some chit chat as well... by around 8.. they were supposed to eat.. and i thought of going home already... but i passed by W grill to make sure if there wasn't any member of the familiah left...
by the time i was passing through the bridge in the 2nd floor.. i saw mark and anya.. so i went up to ask where the others were... found out everybody went home already but since i had nothing else to do.. they made me stay... i met some of their friends.. and by 10.. i went home already...
nothing special happened today... except making me realize some things i should have realized a long time ago... harharhar
anyway.. today, i was at my cousin's place... i was supposed to accompany her while the guys who were supposed to repair their ref were doing their work.. but since there were parts needed... they didn't stay long... so we just hangged around.. talked for a while....
after going to my cousin's place.. i immediately went to ayala... to withdraw some money... to pay my credit card bills.... and some extra to be able to buy my gift for the party in microsoft tomorrow....
anyway... i also met jove in g4 to teach her how to get to microsoft tomorrow... then we just talked for a while... by around 7... i she went back to her dorm in la salle...
then i saw james in g4 alone also... so we went to the smoking area to smoke again.... and again... and again... he was going to meet his sister there... we talked for a while... then... when his sister cam.. we had some chit chat as well... by around 8.. they were supposed to eat.. and i thought of going home already... but i passed by W grill to make sure if there wasn't any member of the familiah left...
by the time i was passing through the bridge in the 2nd floor.. i saw mark and anya.. so i went up to ask where the others were... found out everybody went home already but since i had nothing else to do.. they made me stay... i met some of their friends.. and by 10.. i went home already...
nothing special happened today... except making me realize some things i should have realized a long time ago... harharhar
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?
| Your Birthdate: December 10 |
 You don't just believe in love at first site - you've experienced it. You develop crushes pretty easily, but keeping your interest is another matter! You are very prone to love - hate relationships. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 2 You are most compatible with people born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, and 28th of the month. |
hang out with high school friends
a lot of people know that i never liked high school nor most of the people there. but of course, i also have some close friends that i still keep in touch with up until now. anyway, jan marc, ma. rose and i went to greenbelt to just hang out and chit chat. we also did some serious cam whoring sessions. took pics everytime we had an opportunity.
anyway, what we did is just talk and spend some time with each other. tried to ask each other about our other batchmates in high school whom they still keep in touch with. during that time, i was also texting some of my barkada asking them where they are and trying to lure them to greenbelt by telling them that i brought my camera. anyway.. the first one to reply was thea... she was also in glorietta but she was with her family i think so she couldn't go to where my friends and i were. next was andrew, he was alone at MOA shopping. i told him to go to greenbelt/glorietta instead but he didn't want to because there were more good finds-cheap buys in MOA. so basically.. they where the only two in my barkada who replied... i wonder where the others are??? haha...
anyway... by 6, ma. rose had to leave because she was still going to meet her family in fort bonifacio since it's her brother's birthday. jan marc and i escourted her to the place where she could get a ride going to fort bonifacio. after that, we went to G4 to smoke...
when we got there, i was surprised to see kel and avery with her cousin karen... they also told me that ralph was there with his new boyfriend... nice one ralph... kel and company then went to timezone and jan marc and i were left there... i was still smoking but after a few minutes... we then decided to call it a day already.
anyway.. it was a fun day getting together with some of my closest high school friends. i hope there would be more of this soon. hehe....
anyway, what we did is just talk and spend some time with each other. tried to ask each other about our other batchmates in high school whom they still keep in touch with. during that time, i was also texting some of my barkada asking them where they are and trying to lure them to greenbelt by telling them that i brought my camera. anyway.. the first one to reply was thea... she was also in glorietta but she was with her family i think so she couldn't go to where my friends and i were. next was andrew, he was alone at MOA shopping. i told him to go to greenbelt/glorietta instead but he didn't want to because there were more good finds-cheap buys in MOA. so basically.. they where the only two in my barkada who replied... i wonder where the others are??? haha...anyway... by 6, ma. rose had to leave because she was still going to meet her family in fort bonifacio since it's her brother's birthday. jan marc and i escourted her to the place where she could get a ride going to fort bonifacio. after that, we went to G4 to smoke...
when we got there, i was surprised to see kel and avery with her cousin karen... they also told me that ralph was there with his new boyfriend... nice one ralph... kel and company then went to timezone and jan marc and i were left there... i was still smoking but after a few minutes... we then decided to call it a day already.anyway.. it was a fun day getting together with some of my closest high school friends. i hope there would be more of this soon. hehe....
all of the pictures can be found in my multiply site.. check out my links :D
How Much Lust Do You Have?
| Your Lust Quotient: 52% |
 You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it. Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild! |
What Color Is Your Aura?
| Your Aura is Yellow |
 You're a deeply happy and content person, and you enjoy sharing your cheer with others. While you may seem like a simple optimist, there is a lot of thinking going on inside you. The purpose of your life: bringing joy and a better life to others Famous yellows include: Conan O'Brien, Jenny Mccarthy, Jim Carrey Careers for you to try: Athlete, Actor, Yoga Instructor |
How Are You In Love?
| How You Are In Love |
 You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
What Type of Writer Should You Be?
You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer |
 Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you're from. And while you may have some problems being "normal," you'll have no problems writing sci-fi. Whether it's epic films, important novels, or vivid comics... Your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world! |
What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?
| White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino |
 One of a kind and forward looking, you're the first to introduce a wacky new trend to your friends. And even if your ideas seem weird, they get adopted pretty quickly. |
Monday, December 25, 2006
feelings for another
i went to greenbelt today to check out stuff... and since i didn't have anything to do here in the house anyway.... anyway... while i was alone smoking my lungs out.... i did think about everything that has happened to me these past few months... i am too idealistic and i think in most of my serious blogs... it has already been stated.
i recall talking to nyx last december 7... and i won't ever forget the words that she told me... by telling someone your feelings.. you might lose a love interest but also gain a true friend in the process...
i am still not sure what to do... but so far.. there has been a special girl that seems to have been there for me in my lowest times... she's a friend of mine in high school and has been one of my longest love interest.
i used to think that this person might not deserve someone like me... but then again... i should at least try.... so far.. she is the most perfect girl i know... and even if we end up just being friends... it wouldn't actually matter since having her as a friend is already a blessing from the one up above....
i hope i get the time to ask her out... and i hope she is also free during the time i ask her out so that maybe we could at least talk....
i recall talking to nyx last december 7... and i won't ever forget the words that she told me... by telling someone your feelings.. you might lose a love interest but also gain a true friend in the process...
i am still not sure what to do... but so far.. there has been a special girl that seems to have been there for me in my lowest times... she's a friend of mine in high school and has been one of my longest love interest.
i used to think that this person might not deserve someone like me... but then again... i should at least try.... so far.. she is the most perfect girl i know... and even if we end up just being friends... it wouldn't actually matter since having her as a friend is already a blessing from the one up above....
i hope i get the time to ask her out... and i hope she is also free during the time i ask her out so that maybe we could at least talk....
christmas day
so much for my christmas this year... so far.. no love life... no money.. no gimiks... no load... no yosi... no presents.. sort of... and stuff... haha
but hey.. i still want to greet all those visiting my site:
spent my day in greenbelt... alone... as usual... haha... just had a couple of smokes there... haha... i bought some muffins for my god father... and some pan de sal at le cour de france... also bought some groceries...
but hey.. i still want to greet all those visiting my site:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
spent my day in greenbelt... alone... as usual... haha... just had a couple of smokes there... haha... i bought some muffins for my god father... and some pan de sal at le cour de france... also bought some groceries...
anyway... i was texting a lot of my friends... asking them where they are... most of them were in the province and some... didn't reply... oh well...
well... so much for my christmas... as compared to last year.. i think i got approximately 10,000 pesos... and so far.. as og 6:51pm of December 25... i only got 200 pesos... OMG!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
a few hours before christmas
and the neighbors keep on playing the song boom tarat tarat again and again... OMFG!!!!!!! it really irritates me to hear that song..... as in!!!! whenever i hear that song... it's like worse than all of the hearaches i've experienced!!! damn!!!! somebody please kill me instead if you play that freaking song!!!!
nway...
nway...
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!!!!!
forwarded quotes
in the past few weeks.. i have been receiving inspirational and hopeful SMS quotes from different people.... some.. i already know and some are fresh... i get the point of the messages... its just that.. my heart is still in the process of healing... so maybe it might take a while for me to absorb everything...
but i will be sharing the quotes here....
"Love is not about judging nor being a perfectionist. Love is about accepting, understanding, self-sacrificing and most of all love is supposed to make you HAPPY -- NOT STUPID"
but i will be sharing the quotes here....
"Love is not about judging nor being a perfectionist. Love is about accepting, understanding, self-sacrificing and most of all love is supposed to make you HAPPY -- NOT STUPID"
-sent by Yhxiah
"Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying."
-sent by Jove
"No one is rich enough to buy back the past. But if you have the courage to do better things today, you would be the richest one tomorrow."
-sent by Jasper
I will be adding a few more probably later... hehe...
waking up on the 24th
anyway... i was expecting some money from my aunt this christmas... but.. it seems that she won't be giving anything this season... OMG!!
when i woke up... my mom immediately asked... "do you still have other credit card receipts with you?"
i obviously panicked... i definitely have a lot... summing up to around two thousand.. and i plan to give it to her once i get my ang paos from the other people who usually give me money during the season.... anyway... i acted sleepy and just said... i will check later.... OMG! i need cash right now... and i have no idea where i'm getting it.... damn!
when i woke up... my mom immediately asked... "do you still have other credit card receipts with you?"
i obviously panicked... i definitely have a lot... summing up to around two thousand.. and i plan to give it to her once i get my ang paos from the other people who usually give me money during the season.... anyway... i acted sleepy and just said... i will check later.... OMG! i need cash right now... and i have no idea where i'm getting it.... damn!
Saturday, December 23, 2006
approximately 27 hours before christmas
anyway... i just finished smoking... my mom went to church to complete her anticipated "simbang gabi"
anyway... so far... today... i woke up at around 1pm... and my arms were sore because of last night.... and they still are.. i shoul actually start exercing and stuff so that if ever something like that happens again... my body would be prepared... haha...
anyway... i was completely motivated to do everything i set to do today.... i didn't do much after waking up except to eat and fix some things... anyway... went out at around 3pm already....
first... i immediately proceeded to the smoking area of G4 hoping to find somebody there... well.. i did find a lot of people... the thing is.... i don't know them... haha.... smoked a stick of cigarette... then went down... my main objective was go to SM to by myself a wallet.... but i came across a sports store in g4 going to SM so i checked it out first... and HALLELHUIA!!! i found a really nice all black with only a small logo cap that i had been searching for months now... it's very simple and classic... just what i was looking for.... and it was on sale... got it for less than 500...
after buying the cap.. i went back to g4 to celebrate... celebrate.. meaning.. i'm going to smoke some more cigs... hehe... then.... went down to buy myself a wallet... and i was still expecting to meet someone... and my prayers were answered... i saw nico waiting for his parents i would assume... so i greeted him but it wasn't that long since he had to go...
so i went to SM already.... i think... or i might have window shopped a bit.... anyway... last time i was at SM ayala.... the wallet i was looking for was out of stock already... then went to MOA... and you'll see my experience in my previous blog.. anyway.. thank god they have new stocks when i went there this afternoon... so i bought the wallet... yehey!
i decided to go back to G4 again... to smoke again... but on my way.. in the bridge connecting SM and Glo.... i saw darwin... hahha... came from rockwell and is currently looking for his cousins.... he had no load so i accompanied him to buy load at a store in the MRT station of ayala....
then... i told him to accompany me at G4.. in the smoking area... since i had to celebrate once more since i was able to buy my 48 year dream of buying a new leather wallet.... after that... darwin had to meet his cousins so we went down g4... at the food court... i then saw another familiar face... it was jp.... haha... so i approached him... and said hi... he told me that he was with his sister.... anyway... we said our good byes and greeted him merry christmas... hehe...
anyway... after darwin met his cousins.. i went to the grocery to buy the ingredients for the meal i plan to cook for noche buena... anyway... it was actually quick.... the only thing that placed me to a halt were the long lines for the payment! and since i had to use my credit card... i had to fall in line in the cashier that accepts credit cards.... the line was long and most of the people in front of me had a lot to buy... so... yeah... i got really frustrated...
anyway.. i went home immediately after.. since i was already hungry.... and i didn't have cash with me... only enough for my fare... haha...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MA. ROSE ANN CELLONA and DERRICK MAPAGU!!!!
anyway... so far... today... i woke up at around 1pm... and my arms were sore because of last night.... and they still are.. i shoul actually start exercing and stuff so that if ever something like that happens again... my body would be prepared... haha...
anyway... i was completely motivated to do everything i set to do today.... i didn't do much after waking up except to eat and fix some things... anyway... went out at around 3pm already....
first... i immediately proceeded to the smoking area of G4 hoping to find somebody there... well.. i did find a lot of people... the thing is.... i don't know them... haha.... smoked a stick of cigarette... then went down... my main objective was go to SM to by myself a wallet.... but i came across a sports store in g4 going to SM so i checked it out first... and HALLELHUIA!!! i found a really nice all black with only a small logo cap that i had been searching for months now... it's very simple and classic... just what i was looking for.... and it was on sale... got it for less than 500...
after buying the cap.. i went back to g4 to celebrate... celebrate.. meaning.. i'm going to smoke some more cigs... hehe... then.... went down to buy myself a wallet... and i was still expecting to meet someone... and my prayers were answered... i saw nico waiting for his parents i would assume... so i greeted him but it wasn't that long since he had to go...
so i went to SM already.... i think... or i might have window shopped a bit.... anyway... last time i was at SM ayala.... the wallet i was looking for was out of stock already... then went to MOA... and you'll see my experience in my previous blog.. anyway.. thank god they have new stocks when i went there this afternoon... so i bought the wallet... yehey!
i decided to go back to G4 again... to smoke again... but on my way.. in the bridge connecting SM and Glo.... i saw darwin... hahha... came from rockwell and is currently looking for his cousins.... he had no load so i accompanied him to buy load at a store in the MRT station of ayala....
then... i told him to accompany me at G4.. in the smoking area... since i had to celebrate once more since i was able to buy my 48 year dream of buying a new leather wallet.... after that... darwin had to meet his cousins so we went down g4... at the food court... i then saw another familiar face... it was jp.... haha... so i approached him... and said hi... he told me that he was with his sister.... anyway... we said our good byes and greeted him merry christmas... hehe...
anyway... after darwin met his cousins.. i went to the grocery to buy the ingredients for the meal i plan to cook for noche buena... anyway... it was actually quick.... the only thing that placed me to a halt were the long lines for the payment! and since i had to use my credit card... i had to fall in line in the cashier that accepts credit cards.... the line was long and most of the people in front of me had a lot to buy... so... yeah... i got really frustrated...
anyway.. i went home immediately after.. since i was already hungry.... and i didn't have cash with me... only enough for my fare... haha...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to MA. ROSE ANN CELLONA and DERRICK MAPAGU!!!!
busy friday
just finished taking a shower... anyway... today... erm... yesterday.. i had a busy day.... anyway... i went to my cousin's house at around 2:30 pm.... and waited for her until around 3 i think... they first ate lunch then started preparing the stuff needed for the bazaar... we were able to reach the bazaar at the the fort at around 4.... and since we lacked people... i had to be the one to bring the big boxes and stuff... so much for our ingress... hated it.. haha....
anyway.. since it was my first time... i wasn't able to do good in the first few hours... i just help my cousin in the cashier and stuff.... since it was only the two of us who manned the booth... we couldn't leave each other for a long time... just comfort room breaks.... at around 8... our sales were alright... at around 12... well... our sales weren't that bad... we were instructed by my aunt to start packing up.... by around 1... my other cousin came to pick us up...
and as usual... i was the one to do all the labor.... had an instant work out there... except.. i wasn't wearing any sports attire or gym attire... and without any warm up so i'm sure to get cramps by tom.... the boxes were heavy!!!!! (but since we were able to sell a lot... it was lighter as compared to ingress) anyway... same thing... i hated the egress.... aarrrg!
so basically... during the selling period.. i had fun and i was already used to it since i've been doing the same thing during microsoft events.... i just hated the ingress and egress part... plus... from the time i went to my cousin's place up until now.. the only thing i ate were some cookies (fita and some peanut choco type of cookies)
anyway.. at around 10... i was surprised to see kim, monch and er at the bazaar... i talked to them for a while and found out that the entrance in embassy was free up until 12 since there was a la salle/ateneo party... i wanted to go but.... then again... i won't be able to since i already stink and i wasn't appropriately dressed... oh well....
so far... all i thought about today was to be able to sell the goods that we were selling... and somehow... i think it's better to keep myself extremely busy so that i won't actually hate my life... right now... all i want to do is sleep... and that's what i'm going to do after publishing this blog....
anyway.. my agenda for tomorrow is to buy the ingredients for the stuff that i'm going to cook on noche buena... and buy my wallet... damnit!!!! after 48 years!!!!!!! and also a cap..... also after 48 years!!!! so i guess i will be busy again tomorrow.... hope i get a lot of money this christmas so that i can pay the debt i owe from my mom.... i'm going to try my best to be able to not make this christmas the worst...
anyway.. since it was my first time... i wasn't able to do good in the first few hours... i just help my cousin in the cashier and stuff.... since it was only the two of us who manned the booth... we couldn't leave each other for a long time... just comfort room breaks.... at around 8... our sales were alright... at around 12... well... our sales weren't that bad... we were instructed by my aunt to start packing up.... by around 1... my other cousin came to pick us up...
and as usual... i was the one to do all the labor.... had an instant work out there... except.. i wasn't wearing any sports attire or gym attire... and without any warm up so i'm sure to get cramps by tom.... the boxes were heavy!!!!! (but since we were able to sell a lot... it was lighter as compared to ingress) anyway... same thing... i hated the egress.... aarrrg!
so basically... during the selling period.. i had fun and i was already used to it since i've been doing the same thing during microsoft events.... i just hated the ingress and egress part... plus... from the time i went to my cousin's place up until now.. the only thing i ate were some cookies (fita and some peanut choco type of cookies)
anyway.. at around 10... i was surprised to see kim, monch and er at the bazaar... i talked to them for a while and found out that the entrance in embassy was free up until 12 since there was a la salle/ateneo party... i wanted to go but.... then again... i won't be able to since i already stink and i wasn't appropriately dressed... oh well....
so far... all i thought about today was to be able to sell the goods that we were selling... and somehow... i think it's better to keep myself extremely busy so that i won't actually hate my life... right now... all i want to do is sleep... and that's what i'm going to do after publishing this blog....
anyway.. my agenda for tomorrow is to buy the ingredients for the stuff that i'm going to cook on noche buena... and buy my wallet... damnit!!!! after 48 years!!!!!!! and also a cap..... also after 48 years!!!! so i guess i will be busy again tomorrow.... hope i get a lot of money this christmas so that i can pay the debt i owe from my mom.... i'm going to try my best to be able to not make this christmas the worst...
Friday, December 22, 2006
loooooooong day ahead
anyway... i should actually be starting to prepare already... i have to be at my cousin's house by 2pm today... we will be having a bazaar at fort bonifacio taguig... i'm going to help her today... it will be up until 12am and then after that.... direcho gimik.
anyway.. i woke up at around 11:00 am and my mom immediately asked me to do a lot of things... bought food for lunch outside... went to the bank to exchange some bills... had my first yosi going to the bank.... and stuff... anyway... i'm still listening to someday by nina... i've been listening to it since yesterday.. over and over again... still trying to build up hope inside me...
i'm supposed to buy ingredients today for the noche buena this sunday evening.... i guess i will just do it tom... i still can't forget what happened yesterday at MOA when the system denied my credit cards!! AAAAARG!!!! i'm still stuck with this freaking worn out girbaud wallet... need to buy a new one... but not necessarily girbaud... haha
anyway... i'll probably be blogging again after i get home early in the morning tom....
anyway.. i woke up at around 11:00 am and my mom immediately asked me to do a lot of things... bought food for lunch outside... went to the bank to exchange some bills... had my first yosi going to the bank.... and stuff... anyway... i'm still listening to someday by nina... i've been listening to it since yesterday.. over and over again... still trying to build up hope inside me...
i'm supposed to buy ingredients today for the noche buena this sunday evening.... i guess i will just do it tom... i still can't forget what happened yesterday at MOA when the system denied my credit cards!! AAAAARG!!!! i'm still stuck with this freaking worn out girbaud wallet... need to buy a new one... but not necessarily girbaud... haha
anyway... i'll probably be blogging again after i get home early in the morning tom....
Thursday, December 21, 2006
feeling alone once again...
today... i didn't do much.... i left the house at around 2pm and went immediately to DLSU to finish some tasks... today was the deadline for some documents i had to submit to la salle... while waiting for them to process the papers... i decided to go to gox... but to my surprise.. i saw leanna at the chess plaza with a friend.... she also had some stuff to do.... anyway... after DLSU, i immediately went to MOA....
it's my fourth time in Mall of Asia and i'm starting to enjoy the place... sort of... i'm already trying to create a virtual map inside my head... and it's gonna take a while before i memorize everything in it.... like in Ayala, Makati....
anyway.. tried to window shop for a while then at around 5pm.. i proceeded to the bay walk area to watch the sun set... there were clouds so i wasn't able to appreciate it much.... while i was smoking there alone.... i thought of a lot of things... i also texted MC about it.... i felt so alone... i felt so detached to everyone i know... i'm so scared...
Anyway... at around 6... went back to the mall... and bought 2 caps for my mom's godsons.... i was checking out another cap for me... but i don't know why i didn't buy it... and it was below 500.. so i shouldn't have hesistated.... but.. oh well... hope it will still be there when i get back....
anyway.. then i went to the department store to buy myself a genuine leather wallet... which was also on sale.... but SHIT! their credit card system had a problem so i wasn't able to buy it.... damnit! i went to 3 cahiers already... and tried to use my 2 credit cards.... and they were not able to process it... stupid system!!!! and to think.. i just used my card a few minutes and bought 2 caps at bench... AAARG!!!!
i was so frustrated... and just decided to hang out... alone... somewhere outside the mall.... i never thought that i would see anyone i know in MOA... especially considering that it is soooooooooo BIG! but while smoking to death... i saw wale with her dad and his girlfriend passing by... called her and said hi but she couldn't stay coz they're already going home....
anyway... after a few more minutes... i went home as well....
but up until now.... i still feel bad.... i don't know.. i want to cry but it seems that my tears have dried out already... i thought this time... during college... i will be happy once and for all... but it seems that i have cried more times in the past two years of college as compared to high school....
right now... i really feel alone.... i have been talking to MC, Nyx, Clang and all the others about the stuff i'm going through... but i don't think its enough....
I just realized... i don't need a partner right now... i really don't if only i had friends that would fully understand me.... i don't even know myself.. and i need someone to help me understand who i really am...
when i was in high school... i felt that i'm going to be alone forever and almost accepted that fact... but when i entered college... i was exposed to new people and learned to be more open to other options.... i thought this is it.... in college.. i will be happy... these people i will be meeting are far better than those in high school... well.. they really are... however... i don't think its enough just to be better....
I'm so scared... but i guess i will just have to accept the fact that i will really be alone forever... i tried my best to open up... but it seems that they won't be able to see the effort i put in just to be friends with them... well... don't get me wrong.. it's just that... probably because i'm such an idealist that i seek the perfect friendship and relationship with other people...
i have a poster here in my room that says... if you want a friend, be a friend... and that is just what i am trying to do... but i don't think it's enough....
i'm starting to wonder what this god's plan for me really is.... a lot of people say i'm special and stuff... and i somewhat believe them.... i was reared by my mom alone... but she was able to let me study in don bosco.. an exclusive private school... and then... when we had financial problems... i had to look for another school and whoever thought that i would be able to pass the entrance exam in a science high school.... during my second year... a lot of the teachers saw my potential for being a techie... by third year... a lot of them say that i'm good in IT and stuff... and by fourth year.. i was one of the students who compete in inter-school competitions... and whoever thought that i would be in the team to win in the national level besting all the schools from the whole country.....
and now... i am in la salle... taking up IT... during my first few months.. i joined a university wide photography contest... i never expected to win first place since most of those who will be competing must have taken a photography course already.... but i won first place.... it felt so nice... and now... i'm currently affiliated with microsoft philippines.... and it seems that i have a very secure financial future....
with all those achievements... i really wonder..... and i'm asking you GOD... what do you want from me.... i never asked all this.... you gave it to me just like that.... the only thing i asked was to be happy... have friends.... and live a simple life.... why can't i be happy... i don't need to be rich... i don't need to have all the material things here.... all i ask is to have people who care for me..... those who really need me.... i don't see something like that... even if i didn't exist... i don't think everyone around me won't be able to live their lives like what they are doing today...
i tried to open up to people.... but sometimes.. whenever i feel that it's time... these people don't seem interested anyway.... basically... what i am looking for is someone who will always be ready to listen to me not because they will give me lectures and stuff but just because they know that i need them and that they understand me through and through...
it's my fourth time in Mall of Asia and i'm starting to enjoy the place... sort of... i'm already trying to create a virtual map inside my head... and it's gonna take a while before i memorize everything in it.... like in Ayala, Makati....
anyway.. tried to window shop for a while then at around 5pm.. i proceeded to the bay walk area to watch the sun set... there were clouds so i wasn't able to appreciate it much.... while i was smoking there alone.... i thought of a lot of things... i also texted MC about it.... i felt so alone... i felt so detached to everyone i know... i'm so scared...
Anyway... at around 6... went back to the mall... and bought 2 caps for my mom's godsons.... i was checking out another cap for me... but i don't know why i didn't buy it... and it was below 500.. so i shouldn't have hesistated.... but.. oh well... hope it will still be there when i get back....
anyway.. then i went to the department store to buy myself a genuine leather wallet... which was also on sale.... but SHIT! their credit card system had a problem so i wasn't able to buy it.... damnit! i went to 3 cahiers already... and tried to use my 2 credit cards.... and they were not able to process it... stupid system!!!! and to think.. i just used my card a few minutes and bought 2 caps at bench... AAARG!!!!
i was so frustrated... and just decided to hang out... alone... somewhere outside the mall.... i never thought that i would see anyone i know in MOA... especially considering that it is soooooooooo BIG! but while smoking to death... i saw wale with her dad and his girlfriend passing by... called her and said hi but she couldn't stay coz they're already going home....
anyway... after a few more minutes... i went home as well....
but up until now.... i still feel bad.... i don't know.. i want to cry but it seems that my tears have dried out already... i thought this time... during college... i will be happy once and for all... but it seems that i have cried more times in the past two years of college as compared to high school....
right now... i really feel alone.... i have been talking to MC, Nyx, Clang and all the others about the stuff i'm going through... but i don't think its enough....
I just realized... i don't need a partner right now... i really don't if only i had friends that would fully understand me.... i don't even know myself.. and i need someone to help me understand who i really am...
when i was in high school... i felt that i'm going to be alone forever and almost accepted that fact... but when i entered college... i was exposed to new people and learned to be more open to other options.... i thought this is it.... in college.. i will be happy... these people i will be meeting are far better than those in high school... well.. they really are... however... i don't think its enough just to be better....
I'm so scared... but i guess i will just have to accept the fact that i will really be alone forever... i tried my best to open up... but it seems that they won't be able to see the effort i put in just to be friends with them... well... don't get me wrong.. it's just that... probably because i'm such an idealist that i seek the perfect friendship and relationship with other people...
i have a poster here in my room that says... if you want a friend, be a friend... and that is just what i am trying to do... but i don't think it's enough....
i'm starting to wonder what this god's plan for me really is.... a lot of people say i'm special and stuff... and i somewhat believe them.... i was reared by my mom alone... but she was able to let me study in don bosco.. an exclusive private school... and then... when we had financial problems... i had to look for another school and whoever thought that i would be able to pass the entrance exam in a science high school.... during my second year... a lot of the teachers saw my potential for being a techie... by third year... a lot of them say that i'm good in IT and stuff... and by fourth year.. i was one of the students who compete in inter-school competitions... and whoever thought that i would be in the team to win in the national level besting all the schools from the whole country.....
and now... i am in la salle... taking up IT... during my first few months.. i joined a university wide photography contest... i never expected to win first place since most of those who will be competing must have taken a photography course already.... but i won first place.... it felt so nice... and now... i'm currently affiliated with microsoft philippines.... and it seems that i have a very secure financial future....
with all those achievements... i really wonder..... and i'm asking you GOD... what do you want from me.... i never asked all this.... you gave it to me just like that.... the only thing i asked was to be happy... have friends.... and live a simple life.... why can't i be happy... i don't need to be rich... i don't need to have all the material things here.... all i ask is to have people who care for me..... those who really need me.... i don't see something like that... even if i didn't exist... i don't think everyone around me won't be able to live their lives like what they are doing today...
i tried to open up to people.... but sometimes.. whenever i feel that it's time... these people don't seem interested anyway.... basically... what i am looking for is someone who will always be ready to listen to me not because they will give me lectures and stuff but just because they know that i need them and that they understand me through and through...
realizations and hope
last night, MC and I started talking on the phone at around 11... she was extremely hyper.... she was souting and everything.... it was really fun.... she was very very funny....
but in the latter part of our conversation... there were already instances of serious topics... we really really tried to avoid it.... and then.. she was watching TV and came accross one of her favorite songs... which was someday by nina.... i tried listening to it through the phone but then decided to download it instead.... and there... i downloaded it...
i played it once and it somehow struck me... so i immediately searched for the lyrics... found some but i edited it because some words were missing or wrong... this is the real lyrics:
Someday by Nina
Someday you’re gonna realize
One day you’ll see this through my eyes
By then i wont even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if i cared
I know
You don’t really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
We’ll i've got news for you
I know i’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long
[Chorus]
cause someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i wont even miss you
Someday, someday
right now
I know you can tell
I’m down,and i’m not doing well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I wont have to cry
Sweet goodbye
[Chorus]
cause someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i won’t even miss you
Someday, I know someones gonna be there
someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i won’t even miss you
Someday, someday
From the very time i read the lyrics.... we started all of the serious topics that we tried so hard to avoid.... i told her that this is the EXACT lyrics for what i'm feeling right now.... it somehow implies hope that everything will be ok someday.... we ended our conversation at around 3:30am
My realizations:
from my conversation with jove the other day.... "I love you but I have accepted the fact that you will never be mine and I will be your friend forever"
conversations with MC... "I had my set of problems and i'm still dumb at handling things that are related to life itself, and probably made a big mistake... but there is no turning back now.. I have to live on with my life."
I have to really start being myself starting now.... there are times that I feel lost like I don't know myself at all but then again... deep inside.. i know who i really am... sometimes... i just feel confused because i tend to mix the real feelings that i have and the feelings that I try very hard to show in order for the people not to notice my pain
there is a quote i got from a forwarded SMS... mc and i discussed it... the quote was " sometimes you have to put walls up, not to avoid people but to see who cares enought to break them down just be with you"
i told her that i have been doing that but she told me that i made my walls too high that i can't even see who gives effort to break them down... she told me that there always should be a watch tower behind the wall.. and i somehow forgot to place one... and yeah.. it is kind of true....
hope... it is something i don't know if i should believe or not. but maybe i was meant to be hurt.. i was really supposed to feel all this pain right now.... this song "someday" is a song full of hope... what's funny is that i have been playing this since the time i downloaded it... and then my mom asked me to pick up the food at our local diner near the house... and guess what... this song was being played there also.... somehow... fate is telling me something.. maybe for now... i will start hoping that my life won't stay like this.
but in the latter part of our conversation... there were already instances of serious topics... we really really tried to avoid it.... and then.. she was watching TV and came accross one of her favorite songs... which was someday by nina.... i tried listening to it through the phone but then decided to download it instead.... and there... i downloaded it...
i played it once and it somehow struck me... so i immediately searched for the lyrics... found some but i edited it because some words were missing or wrong... this is the real lyrics:
Someday by Nina
Someday you’re gonna realize
One day you’ll see this through my eyes
By then i wont even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if i cared
I know
You don’t really see my worth
You think your the last guy on earth
We’ll i've got news for you
I know i’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long
[Chorus]
cause someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i wont even miss you
Someday, someday
right now
I know you can tell
I’m down,and i’m not doing well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I wont have to cry
Sweet goodbye
[Chorus]
cause someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i won’t even miss you
Someday, I know someones gonna be there
someday, someones gonna love me
The way, i wanted you to need me
Someday,someones gonna take your place
One day i’ll forget about you
You’ll see, i won’t even miss you
Someday, someday
From the very time i read the lyrics.... we started all of the serious topics that we tried so hard to avoid.... i told her that this is the EXACT lyrics for what i'm feeling right now.... it somehow implies hope that everything will be ok someday.... we ended our conversation at around 3:30am
My realizations:
from my conversation with jove the other day.... "I love you but I have accepted the fact that you will never be mine and I will be your friend forever"
conversations with MC... "I had my set of problems and i'm still dumb at handling things that are related to life itself, and probably made a big mistake... but there is no turning back now.. I have to live on with my life."
I have to really start being myself starting now.... there are times that I feel lost like I don't know myself at all but then again... deep inside.. i know who i really am... sometimes... i just feel confused because i tend to mix the real feelings that i have and the feelings that I try very hard to show in order for the people not to notice my pain
there is a quote i got from a forwarded SMS... mc and i discussed it... the quote was " sometimes you have to put walls up, not to avoid people but to see who cares enought to break them down just be with you"
i told her that i have been doing that but she told me that i made my walls too high that i can't even see who gives effort to break them down... she told me that there always should be a watch tower behind the wall.. and i somehow forgot to place one... and yeah.. it is kind of true....
hope... it is something i don't know if i should believe or not. but maybe i was meant to be hurt.. i was really supposed to feel all this pain right now.... this song "someday" is a song full of hope... what's funny is that i have been playing this since the time i downloaded it... and then my mom asked me to pick up the food at our local diner near the house... and guess what... this song was being played there also.... somehow... fate is telling me something.. maybe for now... i will start hoping that my life won't stay like this.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
somewhat unusual day
anyway... i slept at around 4am in the morning having my UBE with jove through text... haha...
then i woke up at around 10 or 11.... then i don't know what happened(well i actually do know) but the bitter, negative, self-centered side of me took over..... went to DLSU with a bad mood... hating life... hating everything around me again.... the phrase "nobody loves me, everbody hates me" kept on going through my mind.... in the process... i was a bit rude to nyx.... sorry friend!
anyway... i was really the type who would destroy the world if i had powers and stuff guy.... and hated everything i see.... nyx invited me to an event in UST but i said no... i didn't feel like going since it was related to christmas.....
i decided to go to glorietta instead since my other friends were there..... on my way... nyx somehow got to me... and this freaking personality of mine slowly faded away.... the hate was gone.. but the sadness remained....
anyway.... i forgot all about it during the times when we were at W grill drinking beer and other alcoholic drinks courtesy of IAN.. hehehe.... thanks by the way.....
at around 5:30... louie really had to leave.... so we said our goodbyes and accompanied him while looking for a taxi.... we first waited in glorietta... but since all of the cabs passing through didn't entertain us... we decided to go to greenbelt 3 instead.... had a few smokes and still there wasn't any taxi that would entertain us so we decided to go to prince plaza and get a cab there... on our way... we decided to to eat at mini stop first.... after that.. we waited again for a taxi to stop over and take him to DLSU.... and at last... there was one... and so we said our goodbyes... but hopefully it won't be the last..... a lot of people who knows him can relate to why i said that.....
anyway.. spent my remaining time to look for a cap for me and my "kinakapatid".. i actually have two.... my plan was to buy the three of us caps and buy myself a new leather wallet...
i tried looking everywhere but i just didn't see any particular cap that would seem special in a way.... and GOD!!! glorietta is packed!!! even the signature shops were packed... girbaud... marks and spencer... giordano... and some other stores.... i decided to look there because i assumed that people won't be going there since it's a bit too expensive... BUT I WAS WRONG!!!! CRAP!!!!
at around 8:30... i got really tired... and decided to look in rockwell tomorrow instead..... wish me luck!!!! so i just decided to go to starbucks and get a drink there... btw.. i only need one more sticker to get my planner... YEHEY!!!! as usual... i used my card since i don't have any money anymore.... and i really feel that my mom is going to kill me once she finds out how much i owe her.... (around 4000++ already)
in the middle of my loneliness.... (while smoking and drinking pepermind mocha...) thea sent a group text asking who in the barkada is still in glorietta... so i immediately replied.... i was so excited coz i haven't seen her since... i don't know... forever????? and i really wanted to talk to her.... about a lot of things....
but then she immediately cancelled out! damn! i thought of every possible way to try to meet her... but it just wasn't possible.... oh well... i can't do anything about it.. maybe... it's not yet the time for us to have an UBE... hehehe.... so.. i guess i'll just wait a little longer... hahaha...next time might actually be the perfect time..... (not saying that on the time that we actually meet since.. uhm.... forever..... but maybe... when the time is really right.. harharhar..... "ang lalim ba? kaya mo yan friend if you are reading this")
anyway.. so i just finished my drink and then went home already..... i'll probably post my realizations in a while.... hehe....
now i'm blogging..... well... done actually... hehehe
then i woke up at around 10 or 11.... then i don't know what happened(well i actually do know) but the bitter, negative, self-centered side of me took over..... went to DLSU with a bad mood... hating life... hating everything around me again.... the phrase "nobody loves me, everbody hates me" kept on going through my mind.... in the process... i was a bit rude to nyx.... sorry friend!
anyway... i was really the type who would destroy the world if i had powers and stuff guy.... and hated everything i see.... nyx invited me to an event in UST but i said no... i didn't feel like going since it was related to christmas.....
i decided to go to glorietta instead since my other friends were there..... on my way... nyx somehow got to me... and this freaking personality of mine slowly faded away.... the hate was gone.. but the sadness remained....
anyway.... i forgot all about it during the times when we were at W grill drinking beer and other alcoholic drinks courtesy of IAN.. hehehe.... thanks by the way.....
at around 5:30... louie really had to leave.... so we said our goodbyes and accompanied him while looking for a taxi.... we first waited in glorietta... but since all of the cabs passing through didn't entertain us... we decided to go to greenbelt 3 instead.... had a few smokes and still there wasn't any taxi that would entertain us so we decided to go to prince plaza and get a cab there... on our way... we decided to to eat at mini stop first.... after that.. we waited again for a taxi to stop over and take him to DLSU.... and at last... there was one... and so we said our goodbyes... but hopefully it won't be the last..... a lot of people who knows him can relate to why i said that.....
anyway.. spent my remaining time to look for a cap for me and my "kinakapatid".. i actually have two.... my plan was to buy the three of us caps and buy myself a new leather wallet...
i tried looking everywhere but i just didn't see any particular cap that would seem special in a way.... and GOD!!! glorietta is packed!!! even the signature shops were packed... girbaud... marks and spencer... giordano... and some other stores.... i decided to look there because i assumed that people won't be going there since it's a bit too expensive... BUT I WAS WRONG!!!! CRAP!!!!
at around 8:30... i got really tired... and decided to look in rockwell tomorrow instead..... wish me luck!!!! so i just decided to go to starbucks and get a drink there... btw.. i only need one more sticker to get my planner... YEHEY!!!! as usual... i used my card since i don't have any money anymore.... and i really feel that my mom is going to kill me once she finds out how much i owe her.... (around 4000++ already)
in the middle of my loneliness.... (while smoking and drinking pepermind mocha...) thea sent a group text asking who in the barkada is still in glorietta... so i immediately replied.... i was so excited coz i haven't seen her since... i don't know... forever????? and i really wanted to talk to her.... about a lot of things....
but then she immediately cancelled out! damn! i thought of every possible way to try to meet her... but it just wasn't possible.... oh well... i can't do anything about it.. maybe... it's not yet the time for us to have an UBE... hehehe.... so.. i guess i'll just wait a little longer... hahaha...next time might actually be the perfect time..... (not saying that on the time that we actually meet since.. uhm.... forever..... but maybe... when the time is really right.. harharhar..... "ang lalim ba? kaya mo yan friend if you are reading this")
anyway.. so i just finished my drink and then went home already..... i'll probably post my realizations in a while.... hehe....
now i'm blogging..... well... done actually... hehehe
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
course card day....
anyway... so basically.. i already know that i will be failing 1 subject... and.. yeah... i did... accounting.. but i wasn't down or anything.... i know i can always do good next time...
anyway... sad to say... i wasn't able get a GPA of 2.0 or higher... damn! so i wont ba able to apply for SA next term.. too bad... i will have to suffer regular enrollment next term... oh well.. hehehe.....
anyway.. in the evening... most of my barkda went home already... damn!!! they left us (my friends and some other people)
some had to go home and the others had to do something... a bit strange... the only people left in my barakada were er, louie, nico, kim, dha, kristo, nyx (not everybody in the familiah knows here very much but i already consider her part of the familiah)... most of the other people i was with were my other tagay friends... (some what barkada but not really part of my group... )
anyway... we had fun... we had a lot of alcohol intake and stuff.... at around 8.. nyx and company had to leave.. so i told them that i will be back... i will just walk nyx home..... darwin accompanied us.... and had a very interesting... and somewhat humiliating conversation....
ANYWAY..... after that... darwin and i went back to GP to get our stuff... everyone we knew went home already... dawrin was still a bit drunk so i bought the two of us coffee.... had an UBE session with him as well... then we went home.....
anyway... sad to say... i wasn't able get a GPA of 2.0 or higher... damn! so i wont ba able to apply for SA next term.. too bad... i will have to suffer regular enrollment next term... oh well.. hehehe.....
anyway.. in the evening... most of my barkda went home already... damn!!! they left us (my friends and some other people)
some had to go home and the others had to do something... a bit strange... the only people left in my barakada were er, louie, nico, kim, dha, kristo, nyx (not everybody in the familiah knows here very much but i already consider her part of the familiah)... most of the other people i was with were my other tagay friends... (some what barkada but not really part of my group... )
anyway... we had fun... we had a lot of alcohol intake and stuff.... at around 8.. nyx and company had to leave.. so i told them that i will be back... i will just walk nyx home..... darwin accompanied us.... and had a very interesting... and somewhat humiliating conversation....
ANYWAY..... after that... darwin and i went back to GP to get our stuff... everyone we knew went home already... dawrin was still a bit drunk so i bought the two of us coffee.... had an UBE session with him as well... then we went home.....
Monday, December 18, 2006
judgement day is near
i only have less than a day to prepare to receive my grades for the courses i took for this term.... what's different this time is that i don't feel like caring whether i fail or not.... i feel so realaxed....
i know i'm failing 1 subject which is an introduction to accounting course... but i don't feel so worried and stuff..... anyway... what i plan to do tomorrow is to watch rent with my buddy louie.... i haven't told him yet but... since i have been promoting rent since the pasicatchan... i wanted him to watch it... and i will be borrowing jove's ORIGINAL DVD tomorrow... wahehehe... thanks in advance jove....
now... what i really need to do is tell louie to bring his laptop tomorrow.... since i can't bring mine.... and we will watch there.... and i will be using chikka... so... there... i'm going to open the application now....
(and after 3 mins... )
i've already texted louie.. hope he receives it... anyway... i'm happy coz i finally found the trailer song from constantine which is currently playing here in my blog right now... it took me a while before i finally founf it... hahaha
i know i'm failing 1 subject which is an introduction to accounting course... but i don't feel so worried and stuff..... anyway... what i plan to do tomorrow is to watch rent with my buddy louie.... i haven't told him yet but... since i have been promoting rent since the pasicatchan... i wanted him to watch it... and i will be borrowing jove's ORIGINAL DVD tomorrow... wahehehe... thanks in advance jove....
now... what i really need to do is tell louie to bring his laptop tomorrow.... since i can't bring mine.... and we will watch there.... and i will be using chikka... so... there... i'm going to open the application now....
(and after 3 mins... )
i've already texted louie.. hope he receives it... anyway... i'm happy coz i finally found the trailer song from constantine which is currently playing here in my blog right now... it took me a while before i finally founf it... hahaha
new blog theme
anyway... i just woke up a few minutes ago... i slept at around 1am last night errm... this morning.... trying to fix this new theme of mine...
i asked jove to somwhat help me here..... anyway.... while trying to fix the current theme.... jove and i were chatting about different things.... then... she told me that she bought an original copy of RENT and The Phantom of the Opera.....
and when i found out... i was somewhat excited and envious of her.... one of my most favorite movies so far is rent.... i love it so much... i have watched it in the big theater once and i have watched it in TV for around 5 times already.... it includes the film showing we had during our art appreciation class on the 1st term of my second year in college... hahaha...
and i plan to borrow it again probably tomorrow and watch it while waiting for the course cards.... ahahahahaha.....
i asked jove to somwhat help me here..... anyway.... while trying to fix the current theme.... jove and i were chatting about different things.... then... she told me that she bought an original copy of RENT and The Phantom of the Opera.....
and when i found out... i was somewhat excited and envious of her.... one of my most favorite movies so far is rent.... i love it so much... i have watched it in the big theater once and i have watched it in TV for around 5 times already.... it includes the film showing we had during our art appreciation class on the 1st term of my second year in college... hahaha...
and i plan to borrow it again probably tomorrow and watch it while waiting for the course cards.... ahahahahaha.....
"Five hundred twenty five thousan six hundred minutes"
"Will I loose my dignity, will someone care....
Will i wake tomorrow from this nightmare....."
"No day but today"
"Live in my house, i'll be your shelter... just pay me back with one thousand kisses..."
"Take me for what I am.. and who i was meant to be.....
and if you give a damn.. take me baby... or leave me...."
and many more..... hahaha
Sunday, December 17, 2006
all day full of sleep
anyway... as for today... nothing much happened.... i woke up at around 11 am bacause the phone was ringging.... after that... immediately went to the computer to check my email and other people's blog.... my mom and i ate at around 12:30 then went back to the computer... tried to clear my inbox... since i have 300 or more unsorted messages.... i deleted some and placed some in their respective folders and stuff... then at around 2... got really bored... and decided to read the newspapaer and watch TV.... after reading the newspaper... and since there was nothing nice to watch i just decided to sleep.....
woke up at around 6 and watched TV again... watched some cooking shows in the lifestyle network then went down to check my email again.... then blogged the things that had happened the other day.... and now... obviously.. i'm currently blogging... haha....
one of the things that linger in my mind is what MC told me through chat... she tried to observe everything and never really saw that spark that i told her i thought i had.... and i'm guessing that maybe it was just my imagination after all....
i had an alternate world before... sort of.... i'm an idealist and of course.. everything in that world is the ideal stuff that i want to happen... i probably somehow mixed it with reality and merged the two.... i had it before since i thought there was nothing else for me here in the real world.... but i have friends here... i can say goodbye to my alternate world already.... but it does not mean that i stop being an idealist anymore... i'm just going to learn how to leave without that alternate world...
uhm... ok... i dunno how i'm gonna do that but....aaarg! bahala na!
i'm planning to create a new layout for my blog... i hope i can really do it this term break... my only fear is that if laziness comes knocking on my door again... i would obviously let him in.... and conquer me.... wahehehe
woke up at around 6 and watched TV again... watched some cooking shows in the lifestyle network then went down to check my email again.... then blogged the things that had happened the other day.... and now... obviously.. i'm currently blogging... haha....
one of the things that linger in my mind is what MC told me through chat... she tried to observe everything and never really saw that spark that i told her i thought i had.... and i'm guessing that maybe it was just my imagination after all....
i had an alternate world before... sort of.... i'm an idealist and of course.. everything in that world is the ideal stuff that i want to happen... i probably somehow mixed it with reality and merged the two.... i had it before since i thought there was nothing else for me here in the real world.... but i have friends here... i can say goodbye to my alternate world already.... but it does not mean that i stop being an idealist anymore... i'm just going to learn how to leave without that alternate world...
uhm... ok... i dunno how i'm gonna do that but....aaarg! bahala na!
i'm planning to create a new layout for my blog... i hope i can really do it this term break... my only fear is that if laziness comes knocking on my door again... i would obviously let him in.... and conquer me.... wahehehe
vacation time
i'm feeling it... it's our term break already... well.. not officially but... since last week... i didn't have anything else to do anymore... so.. yehey...
anyway.. yesterday.. woke up late and blogged what happened the other day.... then i just watched tv after the electricial fixed the stuff needed to be fixed on the second floor of our house. talked to wale and others... she told me that we will be hangging out in ayala in the afternoon. so i said yes...
at around 4.. i did the usual bathroom stuff that i do preparing for a hang out... then... i felt a little sleepy so i dozed of in my bed after taking a shower... i woke up at around 5:45 and panicked since i thought that my friends will be going to ayala by around 4-5... and it was almost 6....
got to g4 by around 6:15... and checked out the smoking area... and i don't know anybody... i can't see my barkada.... and i didn't have any cellphone credits so i just decided to check out W grill hoping that i would find them there. when i got there... i saw a sign saying "Private Party" and nobody was there except for the waiters... so.. i decided to go to greenbelt 3... didn't see them either... all i had in my wallet was 30 pesos and my credit card.... since i couln't find them anywhere... i decided to use my remaining money to use a payphone and call someone in their mobile phone. tried to call wale first but there was no answer so i dialled marica's mobile number...
got to talk to her... and to my surprise... they're not yet in g4.... they were still looking for a cab to take them to ayala.... and it was around 7 already.... marica said that they will meet me in g4... so i went there after she hung up the phone.
i waited for them there and i was very hungry already.... didn't have any cash so i could't buy anything.... i didn't want to use my credit card unless i have no choice anymore. after a few minutes... they arrived and marica saw me....
we just spent around 30 mins in the yosi spot and checked out the fireworks... i was supposed to buy a drink and something to eat at starbucks but the barrista told me that they don't accept credit cards at the moment....
after G4.. we went to greenbelt already.... wale, marica, kel, ave, ralph, omar, and me.... we were supposed to wait for mark and yhxiah but decided to go there in greenbelt already and just meet them there.... we went to kroc grill.... i felt like eating in oody's so i told them that i will be back in a while... went to oody's then i just remembered that i have no cash at all and if my credit cards would ditch me... i'm dead... so i decided to go back up and borrow 200 as an insurance of some sort...
while going up.. i saw mark.. so i led him to where the others are and asked wale for 200 just in case and told her that i would return it immediately if everything goes smoothly with my card...
so.. there.. i ate at oody's and was extremely full.... went back to kroc and returend wale's money.... then after some time... there were fireworks again... we watched it... then went back to the table....
we also waited for yhxiah and when she told marica through text that she was already at landmark... i volunteered to pick her up coz she's not familiar with greenbelt 3.. i think... anyway... it took me some time to find her since i didn't have any cellphone credits and i had to go back to marica to borrow her phone...
then.. i finally saw her in the bridge of greenbelt - landmark and immediately went up to kroc...
at around 10:40... my mom sent me an angry text message asking where i was and telling me to go home immediately... so... i said my goodbyes to the gang and went home straight....
got home at around 11:30 i think... and talked to nyx on the phone.... it was around 1 when we said our goodbyes and i decided to sleep already....
anyway.. yesterday.. woke up late and blogged what happened the other day.... then i just watched tv after the electricial fixed the stuff needed to be fixed on the second floor of our house. talked to wale and others... she told me that we will be hangging out in ayala in the afternoon. so i said yes...
at around 4.. i did the usual bathroom stuff that i do preparing for a hang out... then... i felt a little sleepy so i dozed of in my bed after taking a shower... i woke up at around 5:45 and panicked since i thought that my friends will be going to ayala by around 4-5... and it was almost 6....
got to g4 by around 6:15... and checked out the smoking area... and i don't know anybody... i can't see my barkada.... and i didn't have any cellphone credits so i just decided to check out W grill hoping that i would find them there. when i got there... i saw a sign saying "Private Party" and nobody was there except for the waiters... so.. i decided to go to greenbelt 3... didn't see them either... all i had in my wallet was 30 pesos and my credit card.... since i couln't find them anywhere... i decided to use my remaining money to use a payphone and call someone in their mobile phone. tried to call wale first but there was no answer so i dialled marica's mobile number...
got to talk to her... and to my surprise... they're not yet in g4.... they were still looking for a cab to take them to ayala.... and it was around 7 already.... marica said that they will meet me in g4... so i went there after she hung up the phone.
i waited for them there and i was very hungry already.... didn't have any cash so i could't buy anything.... i didn't want to use my credit card unless i have no choice anymore. after a few minutes... they arrived and marica saw me....
we just spent around 30 mins in the yosi spot and checked out the fireworks... i was supposed to buy a drink and something to eat at starbucks but the barrista told me that they don't accept credit cards at the moment....
after G4.. we went to greenbelt already.... wale, marica, kel, ave, ralph, omar, and me.... we were supposed to wait for mark and yhxiah but decided to go there in greenbelt already and just meet them there.... we went to kroc grill.... i felt like eating in oody's so i told them that i will be back in a while... went to oody's then i just remembered that i have no cash at all and if my credit cards would ditch me... i'm dead... so i decided to go back up and borrow 200 as an insurance of some sort...
while going up.. i saw mark.. so i led him to where the others are and asked wale for 200 just in case and told her that i would return it immediately if everything goes smoothly with my card...
so.. there.. i ate at oody's and was extremely full.... went back to kroc and returend wale's money.... then after some time... there were fireworks again... we watched it... then went back to the table....
we also waited for yhxiah and when she told marica through text that she was already at landmark... i volunteered to pick her up coz she's not familiar with greenbelt 3.. i think... anyway... it took me some time to find her since i didn't have any cellphone credits and i had to go back to marica to borrow her phone...
then.. i finally saw her in the bridge of greenbelt - landmark and immediately went up to kroc...
at around 10:40... my mom sent me an angry text message asking where i was and telling me to go home immediately... so... i said my goodbyes to the gang and went home straight....
got home at around 11:30 i think... and talked to nyx on the phone.... it was around 1 when we said our goodbyes and i decided to sleep already....
Saturday, December 16, 2006
my birthday bash/familiah xmas party
first of all.... i was frustrated yesterday since i had no phone (landline) and no internet... i dunno what happened... well.. i actually know now but never mind....
so yesterday... i started my day.. uhm... can't really remember... crap...
uhm... i woke up at around 11am i think... or 10... arg!
nway.... didn't do much except eat... then told clang to meet me at glorietta at around 1.... we were first supposed to meet at la salle but i was too lazy to go there since i will be going there in the evening for my barkada's christmas party/ my birthday celebration.. sort of....
anyway... we met at starbucks g4... first i tried to buy a drink so that i could get another sticker but i wasn't able to buy coz the starbucks in g4 had some problems with their credit card system i think... and i didn't want to use cash since i had to reserve it for my birthday bash later in the evening....
so clarissa and i decided to buy the ticket for happy feet... then went to lighter's galore to buy a gift for mikki in our exchange gift....
after that.. clang and i went down to the ground floor to buy my drink at the starbucks there since i was so desperate.... going down... we saw a booth promoting bailey's... one of those expensive alcoholic beverages... and of course.. i wanted to get some so i answered their survey and got myself a cup of bailey's...
went down after that and bought my pepermint mocha and got my 3rd to the last sticker... hahhaha... 2 more stickers to go.... wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
after that.. we went up to g4 starbucks again and bought a pack of smokes... then i smoked around 3 sticks before going inside the movie house... and got another UBE session with clang clang.. hahahaha....
we went inside the movie house extremely early in order to watch the trailers... since clarissa is an obsessed harry potter fan... she really expected to see the teaser trailer for the 5th movie....
we enjoyed the movie... it was a fun experience... the penguins were cute and stuff.. hahaha....
anyway... after the movie.. we immediately went to the smoking area in g4 for me to smoke again.... and a little bit of cam whoring.... at around 5:30... clang had to leave already since she told her mom that she was only going to pass the final documentation for our systems analysis and development course.... haha....
went to la salle immediately.... i took a bus coz the mrt was packed with a lot of people and the line was extremely long... but of course.. it didn't make much difference since it was friday and it was already rush hour so there was heavy traffic... got to la salle at around 7...
my first stop was 7 eleven and i bought 1 bottle of empi... after that... went to gp.... there i found my barkada.... then i saw darwin and the gang... then nyx and eshie.... btw, i saw marga there.. after a long time... had a new harcut also.. it was nice on her... hehe...
i gave my gift to mikki and i'm happy that she liked my gift... and i hope she does not loose it and use it often.. haha.... thanks wale for the suggestion...
after a few minutes... jan marc a.k.a. UNGAS texted me that he was already at vito cruz station... so i had to fetch him since he had no idea where to go....
i introduced him to my friends... and stuff... bought them gin for our drinks for the night.... then i told my other friends, dawrin and company to go to the other table near my barkada.... tried to introduce them one by one again and stuff..... after a while... jan marc told me that he will be fetching lou wella in KFC... so... he had to leave for a while... then it was fun after seeing lou wella...
it was a fun evening.. it was like we owned gp... everybody was dancing like it was going to be their last.... and didn't care at all even if there were other people there...
during the party... i got drunk sort of... and i want to thank louie for trying to fix the issues he had with the girls and stuff... before the party.. louie and i talked about those things and i asked him to promise me to try to fix everything before the year ends.... everything was fine... but.... i also just found out that he might not ba able to stay in dlsu anymore... that was extreme shit! i couldn't believe it.... of all the people... why him???? he was one of my most trusted friends and now... he has to leave.... i really hope that his parents would allow him to study in CSB instead... i promise i will help you louie.... with the academic concerns... just dont leave the barkada....
anyway... later in the evening.... jan marc and adrian got really drunk.... they both puked ans stuff... since jan marc was the extreme newbie there in GP... i had to attend to him first.... and while i was dragging him to the CR... OMG! he puked on me... fuck!!!! but that's fine.... was able to remove all the puke in the CR anyway....
LESSON LEARNED: When attending to a drunk person... make sure you are behind him/her... not in front....
Anyway... bought those guys coffee and stuff and i left them there to sober up... lou wella was taking care of jan marc and darwin was taking care of adrian....
thank god i have those people... otherwise... i won't have any idea what to do....
anyway... while everyone else was still trying to enjoy the night... MC and I had a one on one conversation.. she told me stuff that I have to admit was given already... i just didn't want to accept... but... i'm still moving on and i know i will be able to... "in my reach, there's a light out there for me."
i told darwin about my dilema as well.... and i want to thank him for understanding my side.... at least.. i'm starting to be confident with myself and everything.... i'm happy now that i know i am not alone.
everyone else had to leave at some point... and the only ones left were my blockmates... adrian was still drunk and jim was kind enough to accomodate him.... they called up his(adrian) mom and told her that we he will spending the night at jim's house....
the only people left after that was me, anz, mc and andrew... andrew was supposed to go out with mark but his parents didn't allow him to.. so he had to go home... and since mc, and anz were dorm people... we decided until andrew got a cab.... and around 30 minutes passed... and well... there wasn't any cab available or willing to give him a ride home... we started walking to the north gate... and since mc and anz only had to cross taft in order to get to their dorms... i let them go back already... so i just waited for andrew to get a cab... after a few minutes... and FINALLY... a cab agreed to take him home... it was around 12:30am already.... so... after he got in... i went home as well....
Mc, don't worry... i will talk to you soon... whether through phone or another UBE in starbucks... just text me.... i will listen to all of your problems...
Nyx, I was still awake when you texted my last night... the problem is... i had no cellphone credits and my phoneline was dead... so... i had no way to reply..... sorry... but i will talk to you as well... i need to....
For my friends who greeted me once again.... THANKS SO MUCH.... It was a fun birthday celebration.... and a FUN christmas party!! Love you guys!!! 'til next time!!!!!! hahahaha
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
pics to be uploaded in my multiply site in a while: http://latos.multiply.com
so yesterday... i started my day.. uhm... can't really remember... crap...
uhm... i woke up at around 11am i think... or 10... arg!
nway.... didn't do much except eat... then told clang to meet me at glorietta at around 1.... we were first supposed to meet at la salle but i was too lazy to go there since i will be going there in the evening for my barkada's christmas party/ my birthday celebration.. sort of....
anyway... we met at starbucks g4... first i tried to buy a drink so that i could get another sticker but i wasn't able to buy coz the starbucks in g4 had some problems with their credit card system i think... and i didn't want to use cash since i had to reserve it for my birthday bash later in the evening....
so clarissa and i decided to buy the ticket for happy feet... then went to lighter's galore to buy a gift for mikki in our exchange gift....
after that.. clang and i went down to the ground floor to buy my drink at the starbucks there since i was so desperate.... going down... we saw a booth promoting bailey's... one of those expensive alcoholic beverages... and of course.. i wanted to get some so i answered their survey and got myself a cup of bailey's...
went down after that and bought my pepermint mocha and got my 3rd to the last sticker... hahhaha... 2 more stickers to go.... wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
after that.. we went up to g4 starbucks again and bought a pack of smokes... then i smoked around 3 sticks before going inside the movie house... and got another UBE session with clang clang.. hahahaha....
we went inside the movie house extremely early in order to watch the trailers... since clarissa is an obsessed harry potter fan... she really expected to see the teaser trailer for the 5th movie....
we enjoyed the movie... it was a fun experience... the penguins were cute and stuff.. hahaha....
anyway... after the movie.. we immediately went to the smoking area in g4 for me to smoke again.... and a little bit of cam whoring.... at around 5:30... clang had to leave already since she told her mom that she was only going to pass the final documentation for our systems analysis and development course.... haha....
went to la salle immediately.... i took a bus coz the mrt was packed with a lot of people and the line was extremely long... but of course.. it didn't make much difference since it was friday and it was already rush hour so there was heavy traffic... got to la salle at around 7...
my first stop was 7 eleven and i bought 1 bottle of empi... after that... went to gp.... there i found my barkada.... then i saw darwin and the gang... then nyx and eshie.... btw, i saw marga there.. after a long time... had a new harcut also.. it was nice on her... hehe...
i gave my gift to mikki and i'm happy that she liked my gift... and i hope she does not loose it and use it often.. haha.... thanks wale for the suggestion...
after a few minutes... jan marc a.k.a. UNGAS texted me that he was already at vito cruz station... so i had to fetch him since he had no idea where to go....
i introduced him to my friends... and stuff... bought them gin for our drinks for the night.... then i told my other friends, dawrin and company to go to the other table near my barkada.... tried to introduce them one by one again and stuff..... after a while... jan marc told me that he will be fetching lou wella in KFC... so... he had to leave for a while... then it was fun after seeing lou wella...
it was a fun evening.. it was like we owned gp... everybody was dancing like it was going to be their last.... and didn't care at all even if there were other people there...
during the party... i got drunk sort of... and i want to thank louie for trying to fix the issues he had with the girls and stuff... before the party.. louie and i talked about those things and i asked him to promise me to try to fix everything before the year ends.... everything was fine... but.... i also just found out that he might not ba able to stay in dlsu anymore... that was extreme shit! i couldn't believe it.... of all the people... why him???? he was one of my most trusted friends and now... he has to leave.... i really hope that his parents would allow him to study in CSB instead... i promise i will help you louie.... with the academic concerns... just dont leave the barkada....
anyway... later in the evening.... jan marc and adrian got really drunk.... they both puked ans stuff... since jan marc was the extreme newbie there in GP... i had to attend to him first.... and while i was dragging him to the CR... OMG! he puked on me... fuck!!!! but that's fine.... was able to remove all the puke in the CR anyway....
LESSON LEARNED: When attending to a drunk person... make sure you are behind him/her... not in front....
Anyway... bought those guys coffee and stuff and i left them there to sober up... lou wella was taking care of jan marc and darwin was taking care of adrian....
thank god i have those people... otherwise... i won't have any idea what to do....
anyway... while everyone else was still trying to enjoy the night... MC and I had a one on one conversation.. she told me stuff that I have to admit was given already... i just didn't want to accept... but... i'm still moving on and i know i will be able to... "in my reach, there's a light out there for me."
i told darwin about my dilema as well.... and i want to thank him for understanding my side.... at least.. i'm starting to be confident with myself and everything.... i'm happy now that i know i am not alone.
everyone else had to leave at some point... and the only ones left were my blockmates... adrian was still drunk and jim was kind enough to accomodate him.... they called up his(adrian) mom and told her that we he will spending the night at jim's house....
the only people left after that was me, anz, mc and andrew... andrew was supposed to go out with mark but his parents didn't allow him to.. so he had to go home... and since mc, and anz were dorm people... we decided until andrew got a cab.... and around 30 minutes passed... and well... there wasn't any cab available or willing to give him a ride home... we started walking to the north gate... and since mc and anz only had to cross taft in order to get to their dorms... i let them go back already... so i just waited for andrew to get a cab... after a few minutes... and FINALLY... a cab agreed to take him home... it was around 12:30am already.... so... after he got in... i went home as well....
Mc, don't worry... i will talk to you soon... whether through phone or another UBE in starbucks... just text me.... i will listen to all of your problems...
Nyx, I was still awake when you texted my last night... the problem is... i had no cellphone credits and my phoneline was dead... so... i had no way to reply..... sorry... but i will talk to you as well... i need to....
For my friends who greeted me once again.... THANKS SO MUCH.... It was a fun birthday celebration.... and a FUN christmas party!! Love you guys!!! 'til next time!!!!!! hahahaha
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
pics to be uploaded in my multiply site in a while: http://latos.multiply.com
Thursday, December 14, 2006
total bum
i was a bum today.. i literally didn't do anything.... i woke up at around 12 noon to eat.... then i checked my email and surfed the web for a while... my mom went out of the house around 1-2 for work.
took a bath after my mom went out because jove and i planned to go out for our post birthday celebration. after doing all the bathroom stuff i usually do... i called clarissa up to invite her to join us since i can say that she is one of my most trusted friend.
we started to talk and didn't notice the time... it was 3pm and said our goodbyes since i told her that i had to meet jove.... went up to my room and sent jove an sms that i'm too lazy to go to la salle and just go directly to glorietta and i'll meet her there....
she replied and said that she will try to catch up with me coz she is still doing something.... so i just decided to stay at home and sleep some more....
at around 6... heard the phone ringging and it was nyx trying to call me... earlier i told her that i didn't go to school coz i was too lazy... so she told me that she will be calling me after going to starbucks....
nyx and i talked about a lot of things.... her love life... my love life... me being selfish... nyx, self proclaiming that she is selfish and other stuff.... she also sang some newly composed songs she did.... some i really liked.... some... i really loved... we talked for about an hour and a half... then my mom came home and had to use the phone so we said our goodbyes and hanged up the phone....
after our conversation... mom and i ate supper separately... she ate near the TV and i ate at the dining table.... i felt so lonely and wished that i was eating with someone.... oh well....
then.. i watched TV after eating.... my mom was waiting for grey's anatomy so i told her to let me watch first while it was not on air yet... she went down to do the dishes while i watched two and a half men followed by will and grace... loved those shows... really funny....
after that... went down to place this new entry in my blog coz i plan to sleep early tonight....
Anyway.. during the times that I was trying to sleep and couldn't sleep but can't do anything other than wait for sleep to come.... i have been thinking of what should i do with my life....
1. get a new inspiration (a love life would be nice... but friends is enough)
2. buy an ipod
3. buy new clothes
4. get good grades
5. buy a car
6. buy a loft/condo
7. get filthy rich
8. migrate to another country
9. die (if i don't get a love life by 35.. hahaha)....
oh well....
took a bath after my mom went out because jove and i planned to go out for our post birthday celebration. after doing all the bathroom stuff i usually do... i called clarissa up to invite her to join us since i can say that she is one of my most trusted friend.
we started to talk and didn't notice the time... it was 3pm and said our goodbyes since i told her that i had to meet jove.... went up to my room and sent jove an sms that i'm too lazy to go to la salle and just go directly to glorietta and i'll meet her there....
she replied and said that she will try to catch up with me coz she is still doing something.... so i just decided to stay at home and sleep some more....
at around 6... heard the phone ringging and it was nyx trying to call me... earlier i told her that i didn't go to school coz i was too lazy... so she told me that she will be calling me after going to starbucks....
nyx and i talked about a lot of things.... her love life... my love life... me being selfish... nyx, self proclaiming that she is selfish and other stuff.... she also sang some newly composed songs she did.... some i really liked.... some... i really loved... we talked for about an hour and a half... then my mom came home and had to use the phone so we said our goodbyes and hanged up the phone....
after our conversation... mom and i ate supper separately... she ate near the TV and i ate at the dining table.... i felt so lonely and wished that i was eating with someone.... oh well....
then.. i watched TV after eating.... my mom was waiting for grey's anatomy so i told her to let me watch first while it was not on air yet... she went down to do the dishes while i watched two and a half men followed by will and grace... loved those shows... really funny....
after that... went down to place this new entry in my blog coz i plan to sleep early tonight....
Anyway.. during the times that I was trying to sleep and couldn't sleep but can't do anything other than wait for sleep to come.... i have been thinking of what should i do with my life....
1. get a new inspiration (a love life would be nice... but friends is enough)
2. buy an ipod
3. buy new clothes
4. get good grades
5. buy a car
6. buy a loft/condo
7. get filthy rich
8. migrate to another country
9. die (if i don't get a love life by 35.. hahaha)....
oh well....
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
my life so far
first of all, i would like to thank all of my friends, my real friends so far for giving me all the support i need. ever since i was a child... i've had no one to talk to, no one to lean on and never trusted anybody... i always felt that i need to be independent... that i can only count on myself...
right now, my point of view in life has started to change... there is a small number of people who know me really well and will support me in everything that happens to me... so i would like to thank all of you.... i hope that this number grows bigger and bigger...
anyway.. had an UBE (Ultimate bonding experience) with Jove and Louie yesterday, December 12 and I had a great time... i've never felt so happy with my life before and now... these people and everyone else i know will be there for me always....
today... nothing much happened... i went to la salle at around 4pm to get the OC season 2 cd from mikki.... then had an UBE again with jove at starbucks... hahaha... 3 more stickers to go before i get a planner... yehey..!!!!
went back to GP at around 7 and found most of my barkada there.... the usual things happened and i left at around 9 with ralph and mikki... we walked mikki to the other side of taft and waited until she was able to ride a jeepney... ralph and i were extremely full with thw food we ate at noel's courtesy of louie.... (man!! you are too kind!!! you're the best.. i owe you big time!!!) so we decided to walk up until we reached estrada st. to ride a jeepney.... my night was not over yet since i promised lou wella that i will go tonight to cuneta astrodome and watch her compete for ms. pasay.... it was already 11pm and the top 5 had been called... too bad she wasn't able to get in the top 5... i came to the event late and i left early since it was already late....
Lou, it does not matter whether you win or lose... what matters the most is that you do you're best so that you will never have regrets! To me... you are and will always be the winner... love ya!
Nyx, i know i am a bit selfish but the reason why i am is because a lot of things that i ever wanted had always been taken away from me... but i am starting to change already.. i know you can read me... just give me a little more time... and thanks for always being there for me....
Louie, thanks so much for everything... you're one of the best that i've ever known.... thanks for being a real friend to me.... i owe you!
Tin, thanks for being there and helping me cope up with everything.... i owe you a lot as well... sorry if i was not able to help you with what you asked me today... i was not able to find a resource.... sorry....
Jove, thanks for considering me as one of your true friends.... you know that i also consider you as one of my true friends... and hope to have more UBE's with you... hehehe....
right now, my point of view in life has started to change... there is a small number of people who know me really well and will support me in everything that happens to me... so i would like to thank all of you.... i hope that this number grows bigger and bigger...
anyway.. had an UBE (Ultimate bonding experience) with Jove and Louie yesterday, December 12 and I had a great time... i've never felt so happy with my life before and now... these people and everyone else i know will be there for me always....
today... nothing much happened... i went to la salle at around 4pm to get the OC season 2 cd from mikki.... then had an UBE again with jove at starbucks... hahaha... 3 more stickers to go before i get a planner... yehey..!!!!
went back to GP at around 7 and found most of my barkada there.... the usual things happened and i left at around 9 with ralph and mikki... we walked mikki to the other side of taft and waited until she was able to ride a jeepney... ralph and i were extremely full with thw food we ate at noel's courtesy of louie.... (man!! you are too kind!!! you're the best.. i owe you big time!!!) so we decided to walk up until we reached estrada st. to ride a jeepney.... my night was not over yet since i promised lou wella that i will go tonight to cuneta astrodome and watch her compete for ms. pasay.... it was already 11pm and the top 5 had been called... too bad she wasn't able to get in the top 5... i came to the event late and i left early since it was already late....
Lou, it does not matter whether you win or lose... what matters the most is that you do you're best so that you will never have regrets! To me... you are and will always be the winner... love ya!
Nyx, i know i am a bit selfish but the reason why i am is because a lot of things that i ever wanted had always been taken away from me... but i am starting to change already.. i know you can read me... just give me a little more time... and thanks for always being there for me....
Louie, thanks so much for everything... you're one of the best that i've ever known.... thanks for being a real friend to me.... i owe you!
Tin, thanks for being there and helping me cope up with everything.... i owe you a lot as well... sorry if i was not able to help you with what you asked me today... i was not able to find a resource.... sorry....
Jove, thanks for considering me as one of your true friends.... you know that i also consider you as one of my true friends... and hope to have more UBE's with you... hehehe....
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
anything but ordinary
i'm so happy right now... i have managed to move one with my life now.... i have friends whom i can definitely trust...
since the day i heard this song... i loved it so much and it has been and will always be my theme song....
Anything but ordinary by Avril Lavigne
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody riped my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident, turbulent succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby
Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
oh
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
since the day i heard this song... i loved it so much and it has been and will always be my theme song....
Anything but ordinary by Avril Lavigne
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody riped my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident, turbulent succulent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby
Is it enough?
Is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
oh
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.
Monday, December 11, 2006
moving on with my life
this day is actually the best for me... i have to admit that i didn't do good with my INTRACT... i already accepted the fact that i am going to fail.. but it does not matter... i know i will have friends to be there for me forever now... i had 3.. and now i have 4... i trust them all.... i trust them with my life and i will be there to protect them and they can trust me their lives as well....
even if i am going to fail intract and i will be irregular for life... that's fine.... i know i can still excel... i can really do my best now.. thanks to the 4 people i love so much.....
i've already moved on and i have accepted the fact that we are not meant to be.... i won't ever regret that i met you since you are the reason why i feel so free right now... i know who my friends are... and that is the only thing i need right now....
even if i am going to fail intract and i will be irregular for life... that's fine.... i know i can still excel... i can really do my best now.. thanks to the 4 people i love so much.....
i've already moved on and i have accepted the fact that we are not meant to be.... i won't ever regret that i met you since you are the reason why i feel so free right now... i know who my friends are... and that is the only thing i need right now....
Sunday, December 10, 2006
the worst birthday so far....
Currently listening to: Out of Reach by Gabrielle
it's 10:27 pm in my time...
who ever thought that those scences in movies where there is a guy lonely drinking and smoking in a bar all alone would happen to me.... i never actually imagined such thing would happen to me or to anybody i know...
i started my day doing nothing... i didn't want to study for intract anymore since I was so depressed and I was sure to fail anyway.... then went to my cousin's bazaar at around 3-8pm.... never really enjoyed it...
the weather was really bad and it made more more depressed than ever.... what a birthday....
a lot of people greeted me but those whom i really expected to greet me didn't....
anyway.. around 8.... i went to greenbelt to supposedly hang out and look for people I know... i didn't find anybody and just went to vodka ice alone... i checked out the price listings of their beer and other alcoholic drinks... then the bouncer or who ever he was pointed out that they have a buy one take one promo before 9pm with their local beers so i decided to buy my drink there...
i told myself that i won't be smoking anymore but i was so depressed so i just bought a pack of smokes and just smoked their while drinking my beer.... i saw a lot of people pass by and happy.... i almost cried my heart out.. good thing i was able to force myself not to since i would look stupid especially the fact that i was all alone.
i still can't believe that everything i thought about us would end like this.... i am still trying to move on and live my life without you but it's really hard... i will never know... there are a lot of what if's in my head but i don't think i will ever know the answer.... i really thought we were meant to be.... but i guess i don't have any choice anymore.. do i?
MC, Nyx, and Clarissa... i know you have been there for me since day 1.. you know what i mean... it's just this is my battle... i still need all the support i could get from you... but i will have to face this thing alone to be able to really move on with my life....
it's 10:27 pm in my time...
who ever thought that those scences in movies where there is a guy lonely drinking and smoking in a bar all alone would happen to me.... i never actually imagined such thing would happen to me or to anybody i know...
i started my day doing nothing... i didn't want to study for intract anymore since I was so depressed and I was sure to fail anyway.... then went to my cousin's bazaar at around 3-8pm.... never really enjoyed it...
the weather was really bad and it made more more depressed than ever.... what a birthday....
a lot of people greeted me but those whom i really expected to greet me didn't....
anyway.. around 8.... i went to greenbelt to supposedly hang out and look for people I know... i didn't find anybody and just went to vodka ice alone... i checked out the price listings of their beer and other alcoholic drinks... then the bouncer or who ever he was pointed out that they have a buy one take one promo before 9pm with their local beers so i decided to buy my drink there...
i told myself that i won't be smoking anymore but i was so depressed so i just bought a pack of smokes and just smoked their while drinking my beer.... i saw a lot of people pass by and happy.... i almost cried my heart out.. good thing i was able to force myself not to since i would look stupid especially the fact that i was all alone.
i still can't believe that everything i thought about us would end like this.... i am still trying to move on and live my life without you but it's really hard... i will never know... there are a lot of what if's in my head but i don't think i will ever know the answer.... i really thought we were meant to be.... but i guess i don't have any choice anymore.. do i?
MC, Nyx, and Clarissa... i know you have been there for me since day 1.. you know what i mean... it's just this is my battle... i still need all the support i could get from you... but i will have to face this thing alone to be able to really move on with my life....
birthday today
Well, it's December 10, 2006... 11:11 am in my time... and I'm officially 19 years old.
Oui! J'ai 19 ans!!!!! and it sucks....
I've been through a lot lately and so far I'm still trying to recover from everything that has happened to me. I feel a bit lonely today despite the fact that everybody has greeted me a happy birthday.... but yeah... some friends told me that all the pain i'm experiencing is just a phase in my life and will soon be able to see it's worth. i believe them but i'm just too stuborn to accept that fact and still dwell in the feeling and not move on.
Anyway... for everyone who greeted me today.... THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!
Oui! J'ai 19 ans!!!!! and it sucks....
I've been through a lot lately and so far I'm still trying to recover from everything that has happened to me. I feel a bit lonely today despite the fact that everybody has greeted me a happy birthday.... but yeah... some friends told me that all the pain i'm experiencing is just a phase in my life and will soon be able to see it's worth. i believe them but i'm just too stuborn to accept that fact and still dwell in the feeling and not move on.
Anyway... for everyone who greeted me today.... THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!
Saturday, December 09, 2006
countdown
damn! just woke up again... when i woke up this morning... i was still very sleepy.. anyway... it's 11:52am in my time.... approximately 12 hours to go before i turn 19...
i will now be taking a bath and go to la salle to study for accounting... even if it's a sure fail... so that next time that i take the course.... i can get a grade of 4.0.... wish me luck....
i will now be taking a bath and go to la salle to study for accounting... even if it's a sure fail... so that next time that i take the course.... i can get a grade of 4.0.... wish me luck....
less than 24 hours before i turn 19
it's 7:48am in my time right now. i just woke up and i can feel the heaviness on my chest... (literally and figuratively)
I have approx. 17 hours before i turn 19... and i will be on my last year being a teenager... damn! i don't know what to feel.. my term was the worst ever... i've been through hell and back...
now that i am turning 19.. probably it's time for me to be more mature in everything... i try to act immature since it's the only way for me to hide my feelings and stuff.... although it has become a habit already... it would take some time for me to act the way i should... oh well...
but what i plan to do today.... well.... first of all... i need to stop smoking already... and this will be the last day that i will be smoking without any hesitation and conscience. in a filipino expression... "walang pakundangang pagyoyosi." after today... i will only try to smoke if i feel the need to.... and i think i should start saving my money.... i'm not gonna spend it on just anything anymore.... although i still want that planner from starbucks before january 1 so... it's the only luxury i will be indulging myself with for the rest of december....
anyway.. i still don't know if i have to go to school to study for intract despite the fact that i'm 100% going to fail anyway... i just think that i must at least try to not give up that easily and even try a little bit more... then by my second take.... i would be a lot wiser with it....
I have approx. 17 hours before i turn 19... and i will be on my last year being a teenager... damn! i don't know what to feel.. my term was the worst ever... i've been through hell and back...
now that i am turning 19.. probably it's time for me to be more mature in everything... i try to act immature since it's the only way for me to hide my feelings and stuff.... although it has become a habit already... it would take some time for me to act the way i should... oh well...
but what i plan to do today.... well.... first of all... i need to stop smoking already... and this will be the last day that i will be smoking without any hesitation and conscience. in a filipino expression... "walang pakundangang pagyoyosi." after today... i will only try to smoke if i feel the need to.... and i think i should start saving my money.... i'm not gonna spend it on just anything anymore.... although i still want that planner from starbucks before january 1 so... it's the only luxury i will be indulging myself with for the rest of december....
anyway.. i still don't know if i have to go to school to study for intract despite the fact that i'm 100% going to fail anyway... i just think that i must at least try to not give up that easily and even try a little bit more... then by my second take.... i would be a lot wiser with it....
mixed emotions
it's already 12:28 in my time, Dec 9, 2006 and missed writing in this blog before 12.
Anyway... Friday was supposed to be dedicated for our Filipi2 project. We were supposed to go to our professor's house in cavite today to show the video presentation that "we" did... So, last night... (referring to Dec 7) I asked pole what time will we be going to meet. She told me that we will be meeting @ la salle at around 11am... so went there a little bit late and received her text that we will be meeting at 1 in greenhills instead. So i asked jove and mc to accompany me at starbucks... we had our bonding moments... shared stories and stuff.... but i had to leave early since I have a meeting at 1pm at greenhills starbucks.... I left la salle starbucks at around 12:45pm... i had a feeling that they will be late anyway... I also told mc that i'll be back by 7 at la salle to have an UBE(Ultimate bonding experience) with her.....
So took the LRT and MRT.. followed pole's instruction to go to greenhills commute. I asked the jeepney driver if he knew where I was supposed to go and agreed to tell me when we have reached starbucks greenhills. And the driver didn't actually tell me.... I had a feeling that the starbucks pole mentioned was the one in the greenhills shopping center however.. i hesitated to go down since i was expecting the driver to tell me that "this is it."
I did not go down the jeepney until I saw a starbucks store... cause he told me that it was on the other side... I came from robinsons so when we reached the greenhills shopping center... it was on our side so i didn't go down... I was able to reach madison something... and there was a starbucks on the other side... i told the driver "para" and just went down.
When I was able to get to starbucks... I called up pole and told her the place and told her i'm there already. Gave the phone to marbie and said that it was not the starbucks that they had in mind. Technically I was lost, I went back to the same side i was in before and walked towards the direction of all the vehicles passing by... I reached the end of the street and asked a MMDA officer if there were any starbucks store beyond the intersection...
He told me that the only starbucks' in greenhills were the one near xavier and at the greenhills shopping mall... so called up pole again and asked her if was it in the greenhills shopping mall... and she said yes... And I was so exhausted by then...
So rode a jeepney again until I reached the greenhills shopping mall.... I was there by around 2pm already.... told pole about it and told me to just wait for them there. I looked for a store that sells smokes and just tried to explore the mall since it was my first time there... i think. it was already 3pm and the project wasn't finished yet. All i did was to wander around the mall.. checking out the stores and stuff... going out to smoke and everything a person alone and with no one to talk to could do... I tried looking for caps and wallets since I have been planning to but them more than a month ago... but I remembered... I didn't bring any cash and my mom does not know that I am in greenhills so I definitely can't use my credit cards... (I have 4 but I only bring 2)
It was already 5:30 and still had no idea where my groupmates are and what they are doing and since cavite is really far and it's already evening... I can't go with them anymore. So I just went back to la salle starbucks to meet mc... I also texted nyx but she said she didn't have any money so she didn't join us. Next time.....
MC and I bonded from 7:30 - 10-30... we left starbucks at 10 and ate at KFC (we were the last customers) until 10:30... I also saw Rykiel and she was showing me how many stamps more she needed (it was 6 but she bought another drink so... she was doen to 5)before she get's her planner. I'm was so green with envy.. haha.... Then I went to greenbelt to meet my barkada.. so that they won't label me tonight as the "dakilang indyanero." Went home by 11:50pm.. now I am home...
During our(MC and I) UBE... we were able to get to tell our stories and encouraged each other about the problems that we had... one of the things I will never forget that she told me was "NEVER PRIORITIZE THE PEOPLE WHO THINK OF YOU ONLY AS THEIR OPTION." This is so true... and I really hope I can apply this soon... I'm still not sure if i can really do it.... I really want everybody to be my friend and I really want everybody to think of me as their friend.
Yesterday (Dec 7) Nyx and I had our own UBE and I really cried my heart out.. She read me like my life story and personality was written all over my face. She made me realize that I try to please everybody and that by not being able to do that, I easily get hurt... She told me that I was too much of an idealist... it's true and Mc told me almost the same things...
I still feel down in a way since a lot of things happened to me this term... I knew this term was going to be hell... one thing's for sure... i'm gonna fail intract (intro to accounting)... i became so irresponsible this term... I had a lot to deal with and nobody to talk to at all...
(i think only clang, mc and nyx will be able to relate) I did everything I could but it just happened and there's nothing else I could do other than think positive and hope for the best. I know I will be happy someday and I know I will be sharing my happiness with you guys... love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway... now, i can really see myself 5 years from now very successful.
then again....
Nyx, you are right... I have to stop thinking about what will happen a few years from now and focus on what is now.... And i am already starting to do that... I know I will have you guys no matter what.... I can at least breathe easy and won't have to face everything on my own... I WOULD DIE FOR MY FRIENDS NO MATTER WHAT... thanks!
MC, whatever happens... I will always be here for you.... and I know that you will always be here for me as well.... thanks! Now, I won't have to think of killing myself and do stuff that would make my life worse... Thanks for encouraging me and telling me that I will find what I am looking for soon....
Clang, we haven't been able to talk for a few days now. I know you're busy but I also know that you wanted me to be really happy... thanks for all the support....
Anyway... Friday was supposed to be dedicated for our Filipi2 project. We were supposed to go to our professor's house in cavite today to show the video presentation that "we" did... So, last night... (referring to Dec 7) I asked pole what time will we be going to meet. She told me that we will be meeting @ la salle at around 11am... so went there a little bit late and received her text that we will be meeting at 1 in greenhills instead. So i asked jove and mc to accompany me at starbucks... we had our bonding moments... shared stories and stuff.... but i had to leave early since I have a meeting at 1pm at greenhills starbucks.... I left la salle starbucks at around 12:45pm... i had a feeling that they will be late anyway... I also told mc that i'll be back by 7 at la salle to have an UBE(Ultimate bonding experience) with her.....
So took the LRT and MRT.. followed pole's instruction to go to greenhills commute. I asked the jeepney driver if he knew where I was supposed to go and agreed to tell me when we have reached starbucks greenhills. And the driver didn't actually tell me.... I had a feeling that the starbucks pole mentioned was the one in the greenhills shopping center however.. i hesitated to go down since i was expecting the driver to tell me that "this is it."
I did not go down the jeepney until I saw a starbucks store... cause he told me that it was on the other side... I came from robinsons so when we reached the greenhills shopping center... it was on our side so i didn't go down... I was able to reach madison something... and there was a starbucks on the other side... i told the driver "para" and just went down.
When I was able to get to starbucks... I called up pole and told her the place and told her i'm there already. Gave the phone to marbie and said that it was not the starbucks that they had in mind. Technically I was lost, I went back to the same side i was in before and walked towards the direction of all the vehicles passing by... I reached the end of the street and asked a MMDA officer if there were any starbucks store beyond the intersection...
He told me that the only starbucks' in greenhills were the one near xavier and at the greenhills shopping mall... so called up pole again and asked her if was it in the greenhills shopping mall... and she said yes... And I was so exhausted by then...
So rode a jeepney again until I reached the greenhills shopping mall.... I was there by around 2pm already.... told pole about it and told me to just wait for them there. I looked for a store that sells smokes and just tried to explore the mall since it was my first time there... i think. it was already 3pm and the project wasn't finished yet. All i did was to wander around the mall.. checking out the stores and stuff... going out to smoke and everything a person alone and with no one to talk to could do... I tried looking for caps and wallets since I have been planning to but them more than a month ago... but I remembered... I didn't bring any cash and my mom does not know that I am in greenhills so I definitely can't use my credit cards... (I have 4 but I only bring 2)
It was already 5:30 and still had no idea where my groupmates are and what they are doing and since cavite is really far and it's already evening... I can't go with them anymore. So I just went back to la salle starbucks to meet mc... I also texted nyx but she said she didn't have any money so she didn't join us. Next time.....
MC and I bonded from 7:30 - 10-30... we left starbucks at 10 and ate at KFC (we were the last customers) until 10:30... I also saw Rykiel and she was showing me how many stamps more she needed (it was 6 but she bought another drink so... she was doen to 5)before she get's her planner. I'm was so green with envy.. haha.... Then I went to greenbelt to meet my barkada.. so that they won't label me tonight as the "dakilang indyanero." Went home by 11:50pm.. now I am home...
During our(MC and I) UBE... we were able to get to tell our stories and encouraged each other about the problems that we had... one of the things I will never forget that she told me was "NEVER PRIORITIZE THE PEOPLE WHO THINK OF YOU ONLY AS THEIR OPTION." This is so true... and I really hope I can apply this soon... I'm still not sure if i can really do it.... I really want everybody to be my friend and I really want everybody to think of me as their friend.
Yesterday (Dec 7) Nyx and I had our own UBE and I really cried my heart out.. She read me like my life story and personality was written all over my face. She made me realize that I try to please everybody and that by not being able to do that, I easily get hurt... She told me that I was too much of an idealist... it's true and Mc told me almost the same things...
I still feel down in a way since a lot of things happened to me this term... I knew this term was going to be hell... one thing's for sure... i'm gonna fail intract (intro to accounting)... i became so irresponsible this term... I had a lot to deal with and nobody to talk to at all...
(i think only clang, mc and nyx will be able to relate) I did everything I could but it just happened and there's nothing else I could do other than think positive and hope for the best. I know I will be happy someday and I know I will be sharing my happiness with you guys... love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway... now, i can really see myself 5 years from now very successful.
then again....
Nyx, you are right... I have to stop thinking about what will happen a few years from now and focus on what is now.... And i am already starting to do that... I know I will have you guys no matter what.... I can at least breathe easy and won't have to face everything on my own... I WOULD DIE FOR MY FRIENDS NO MATTER WHAT... thanks!
MC, whatever happens... I will always be here for you.... and I know that you will always be here for me as well.... thanks! Now, I won't have to think of killing myself and do stuff that would make my life worse... Thanks for encouraging me and telling me that I will find what I am looking for soon....
Clang, we haven't been able to talk for a few days now. I know you're busy but I also know that you wanted me to be really happy... thanks for all the support....
Thursday, December 07, 2006
an extraordinary day for me
well, i have a feeling that now, i can really smile not because i am pretending to be happy but because i really am happy. i don't know what's going to happen in the future... my friend told me that i should stop thinking too much about the future and focus on what is now....
i have somehow moved on... although there is still that feeling....
but now i think i can be happy.. i know i have friends who will never leave me.... and of course i will treasure our friendship and will do everything that i can for them as well....
Clarissa, MC and of course... Nyx!.. thanks so much... i love you guys... now i know that i won't have to face everything alone... thanks so much....
i have somehow moved on... although there is still that feeling....
but now i think i can be happy.. i know i have friends who will never leave me.... and of course i will treasure our friendship and will do everything that i can for them as well....
Clarissa, MC and of course... Nyx!.. thanks so much... i love you guys... now i know that i won't have to face everything alone... thanks so much....
last day of regular classes... part 1
i woke up early today... around 7am... it's now 8:16 in my time and i have a meeting with my thesis-mates at 10am....
anyway... i was checking out the songs in the rent soundtrack. this is one of my favorite songs... this part of the movie really made me cry... for those who haven't watched the movie Rent... I really recommend that you watfh it.
Without You
MIMI
Without You
The Ground Thaws
The Rain Falls
The Grass Grows
Without You
The Seeds Root
The Flowers Bloom
The Children Play
The Stars Gleam
The poets dream
The Eagles Fly
Without You
The Earth Turns
The Sun Burns
But I Die
Without You
Without You
The Breeze Warms
The Girls Smiles
The Cloud Moves
Without You
The Tides Change
The Boys Run
The Oceans Crash
The Crowds Roar
The Days Soar
The Babies Cry
Without You
The Moon Glows
The River Flows
But I Die
Without You
ROGER
The World Revives
MIMI
Colors Renew
BOTH
But I Know
Only Blue
Lonely Blue
Within Me, Blue
Without You
MIMI
Without You
The Hand Gropes
The Ear Hears
The Pulse Beats
ROGER
Without You
The Eyes Gaze
The Legs Walk
The Lungs Breathe
BOTH
The Mind Churns
The Heart Yearns
The Tears Dry
Without You
Life Goes On
But I'm Gone
Cause I Die
ROGER
Without You
MIMI
Without You
ROGER
Without You
BOTH
Without You
anyway... i was checking out the songs in the rent soundtrack. this is one of my favorite songs... this part of the movie really made me cry... for those who haven't watched the movie Rent... I really recommend that you watfh it.
Without You
MIMI
Without You
The Ground Thaws
The Rain Falls
The Grass Grows
Without You
The Seeds Root
The Flowers Bloom
The Children Play
The Stars Gleam
The poets dream
The Eagles Fly
Without You
The Earth Turns
The Sun Burns
But I Die
Without You
Without You
The Breeze Warms
The Girls Smiles
The Cloud Moves
Without You
The Tides Change
The Boys Run
The Oceans Crash
The Crowds Roar
The Days Soar
The Babies Cry
Without You
The Moon Glows
The River Flows
But I Die
Without You
ROGER
The World Revives
MIMI
Colors Renew
BOTH
But I Know
Only Blue
Lonely Blue
Within Me, Blue
Without You
MIMI
Without You
The Hand Gropes
The Ear Hears
The Pulse Beats
ROGER
Without You
The Eyes Gaze
The Legs Walk
The Lungs Breathe
BOTH
The Mind Churns
The Heart Yearns
The Tears Dry
Without You
Life Goes On
But I'm Gone
Cause I Die
ROGER
Without You
MIMI
Without You
ROGER
Without You
BOTH
Without You
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
out of reach
Currently listening to: Out of Reach by Gabrielle
this is my last post in my multiply account blog and i love this song so much... i can relate to it somehow... hehe....
Verse 1
Knew the signs wasn’t right
I was stupid, for a while
Swept away, by you
And now I feel like a fool
Chorus
So confused
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn’t see
We were never met to be
Verse 2
Catch myself, from despair
I could drown if I stay here
Keeping busy, everyday
I know I will be ok
Chorus
But I’m So confused
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn’t see
We were never met to be
Bridge
So much hurt, so much pain
Takes a while to regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time
You’ll be out of my mind
I’ll be over you
Chorus
And know I’m
So confused
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn’t see
We were never met to be
Out of reach, so far,
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There’s a life out there for me
Clang, i think this should also be your song.... we both have to move on now...
this is my last post in my multiply account blog and i love this song so much... i can relate to it somehow... hehe....
Verse 1
Knew the signs wasn’t right
I was stupid, for a while
Swept away, by you
And now I feel like a fool
Chorus
So confused
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn’t see
We were never met to be
Verse 2
Catch myself, from despair
I could drown if I stay here
Keeping busy, everyday
I know I will be ok
Chorus
But I’m So confused
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn’t see
We were never met to be
Bridge
So much hurt, so much pain
Takes a while to regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time
You’ll be out of my mind
I’ll be over you
Chorus
And know I’m
So confused
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn’t see
We were never met to be
Out of reach, so far,
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There’s a life out there for me
Clang, i think this should also be your song.... we both have to move on now...
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
shit!
it's 2:18am in my time and i can't sleep! damnit!!! aaarg!!!! i have an 8am class today... i need to get some sleep.. i need to wake up early since i still have not yet finished most of the activities in my biology laboratory class.... and the deadline of submission is today... i think.... i hope we could get an extension....
damn!
damn!
Monday, December 04, 2006
thanks a lot clarissa
You know who I dedicate this song to:
love ya'!
Constantly by M.Y.M.P.
I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
But the feeling just kept on shining through
Haven’t known you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much too
Much too strong
Could this be love
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart
Constantly, you’re on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can’t sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking ‘bout you
Why do I feel this way
When I know you have someone
That you’re seeing each and everyday
Should I play this game
Of just being you're friend
But i know that’s not where I want it to end
How could this be wrong
When it feels so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart
No I don’t want to start No trouble
Between you and I and you lover
But I must tell you what I’m going through
Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes
love ya'!
Constantly by M.Y.M.P.
I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
But the feeling just kept on shining through
Haven’t known you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much too
Much too strong
Could this be love
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart
Constantly, you’re on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can’t sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking ‘bout you
Why do I feel this way
When I know you have someone
That you’re seeing each and everyday
Should I play this game
Of just being you're friend
But i know that’s not where I want it to end
How could this be wrong
When it feels so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart
No I don’t want to start No trouble
Between you and I and you lover
But I must tell you what I’m going through
Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes
Sunday, December 03, 2006
thoughts for the day
Currently listening to: Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard
It's exactly 9:00pm in my time, December 3, 2006. One week from now, I'm turning 19 and I have a feeling that this is going to be my worst birthday celebration so far. I have a finals for my Introduction to Accounting on December 11, a day after my birthday. I guess I won't be able to enjoy my birthday after all. I'm turnung 19 and I still don't have a love life. So many people in the world and all I really need is one but it seems that this supposedly special person is nowhere to be found at the moment.
I feel so depressed because I don't have any idea what I am going to do with my life. A lot of people say that I'm going to be very rich someday. I have won academic related contests when I was in high school, I've won some contests in college and I have been a dean's lister once so far and still I feel something missing. And this black hole inside of me is starting to consume me. I have a feeling that I will be failing a course this term --- Introduction to Accounting ---, I'm not doing good in my other subjects, my thesismates hate me for being so careless and irresponsible, my barkada is starting to fall apart and there is someone I like so much but I don't have the courage to tell what my feelings are.
This Sunday, I was a total bum. I woke up around 11++ am and just watched TV the afternoon. I should be doing the activities that I should have passed in our Biology 1 Laboratory course months ago since all of the activities are due this Tuesday and we have an exam in our Biology 1 course tomorrow. I'm not sure but we might even have the exam in accounting tom evening since it was cancelled last thursday due to the typhoon Reming. Some of my classmates told me that it's either the exam will be on tuesday evening or just include it in the final exam for the course on December 11, 2006.
I was able to watch the replay of Samurai X : Reflection - Director's Cut. Most of it was a flashback of the series but it also gave an ending to the Samurai X series. It's sad that Kenshin/Shinta died in the arms of Kaoru but at least, he was able to be really happy in the end. I wonder, will I have the same ending?
Currently listening to: Huwag mo nang itanong by M.Y.M.P.
It's exactly 9:00pm in my time, December 3, 2006. One week from now, I'm turning 19 and I have a feeling that this is going to be my worst birthday celebration so far. I have a finals for my Introduction to Accounting on December 11, a day after my birthday. I guess I won't be able to enjoy my birthday after all. I'm turnung 19 and I still don't have a love life. So many people in the world and all I really need is one but it seems that this supposedly special person is nowhere to be found at the moment.
I feel so depressed because I don't have any idea what I am going to do with my life. A lot of people say that I'm going to be very rich someday. I have won academic related contests when I was in high school, I've won some contests in college and I have been a dean's lister once so far and still I feel something missing. And this black hole inside of me is starting to consume me. I have a feeling that I will be failing a course this term --- Introduction to Accounting ---, I'm not doing good in my other subjects, my thesismates hate me for being so careless and irresponsible, my barkada is starting to fall apart and there is someone I like so much but I don't have the courage to tell what my feelings are.
This Sunday, I was a total bum. I woke up around 11++ am and just watched TV the afternoon. I should be doing the activities that I should have passed in our Biology 1 Laboratory course months ago since all of the activities are due this Tuesday and we have an exam in our Biology 1 course tomorrow. I'm not sure but we might even have the exam in accounting tom evening since it was cancelled last thursday due to the typhoon Reming. Some of my classmates told me that it's either the exam will be on tuesday evening or just include it in the final exam for the course on December 11, 2006.
I was able to watch the replay of Samurai X : Reflection - Director's Cut. Most of it was a flashback of the series but it also gave an ending to the Samurai X series. It's sad that Kenshin/Shinta died in the arms of Kaoru but at least, he was able to be really happy in the end. I wonder, will I have the same ending?
Currently listening to: Huwag mo nang itanong by M.Y.M.P.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
my saturday
Currently listening to: The ghost of you by My Chemical Romance
It's 12:02am in my time already, December 3, 2006. Yesterday was another lonely day for me. My objectives for the day were to go to school to do the presentation for our defense on Wednesday, December 6, 2006 in our Systems Analysis and Development course in De La Salle University-Manila. I bought my camera with me to ba able to take pictures of myself with my other friends. Jamie was extremely late and as agreed by everyone in our mini-thesis group, the last person to arrive after the designated time would be treating the group for a free lunch. And so she owes us free lunch.
We started doing the presentation and ended at around 12pm. They had their lunch at Munch and I bought my food from agno and ate at the gokongwei gallery. After lunch, we had our mock demo, each of us discussing the whole proposal in front on one another giving comments and clarifying the statements.
We ended at around 3pm. I had planned earlier to meet Riva during lunch because Iya was her classmate in their make up class in ORIENT2. But my plans didn't work out as planned and was not able to say hi or even just see Iya Villania.
My barkada had also planned the day before to have another hang out in the mall or something. I send Wale a text message asking her where will we be hanging out. She told me that we will be going to SM Mall of Asia. I sent Andrew a text message and told him the plans of the barkada. I noticed that he still does not feel at home with us. He still asks for an invite and always comments that nobody invited him when we ask him why he's not with the barkada. And he's not yet the type who immediately asks and presents himself if there is a get together in the group.
After everything, I went back home since Wale did not give me a specific time and exact place on where we will be meeting. I sent Dha and her groupmates some programming codes related to connecting the database to the actual program. Did my task for our project in Biology 1 laboratory and checked my e-mail.
After that, I again asked Wale through SMS where she is and where are we going to meet in MOA. Then she replied that she won't be going with us since she has an exam in DLS-CSB tomorrow morning. She told me that Omar and company will be going to Greenbelt instead. I asked omar through SMS but did not receive an immediate reply. So I decided to go to MOA alone to buy myself a new leather wallet.
It was also my first time to go to MOA alone and commute. Nyx was also there with her family and watched a movie. Since I could not contact most of my friends and I felt tired and lazy, I just sat down at the edge on one of the plant boxes in MOA and chain smoked again. Omar told me that he was with Louie and that they were going to Rockwell to meet Kel and will be going back to Greenbelt at around 10pm. That was the time I felt really really lazy and decided to just have some time alone with myself.
As I was going home, Marica called me and I was suprised to see her there considering that MOA is so big. It was their maid's birthday and they went to MOA to somewhat celebrate. Wale was also there at MOA with her dad and his girlfriend. Wale's dad treated us to some beer and then I went home early since my mom was already frustrated and was already looking for me because it was already 10pm. I was still planning to go out with my cousin because I just didn't want to go home but since my mom was already angry, I decided not to go out anymore.
Currently listening to: Cemetery Drive by My Chemical Romance
It's 12:02am in my time already, December 3, 2006. Yesterday was another lonely day for me. My objectives for the day were to go to school to do the presentation for our defense on Wednesday, December 6, 2006 in our Systems Analysis and Development course in De La Salle University-Manila. I bought my camera with me to ba able to take pictures of myself with my other friends. Jamie was extremely late and as agreed by everyone in our mini-thesis group, the last person to arrive after the designated time would be treating the group for a free lunch. And so she owes us free lunch.
We started doing the presentation and ended at around 12pm. They had their lunch at Munch and I bought my food from agno and ate at the gokongwei gallery. After lunch, we had our mock demo, each of us discussing the whole proposal in front on one another giving comments and clarifying the statements.
We ended at around 3pm. I had planned earlier to meet Riva during lunch because Iya was her classmate in their make up class in ORIENT2. But my plans didn't work out as planned and was not able to say hi or even just see Iya Villania.
My barkada had also planned the day before to have another hang out in the mall or something. I send Wale a text message asking her where will we be hanging out. She told me that we will be going to SM Mall of Asia. I sent Andrew a text message and told him the plans of the barkada. I noticed that he still does not feel at home with us. He still asks for an invite and always comments that nobody invited him when we ask him why he's not with the barkada. And he's not yet the type who immediately asks and presents himself if there is a get together in the group.
After everything, I went back home since Wale did not give me a specific time and exact place on where we will be meeting. I sent Dha and her groupmates some programming codes related to connecting the database to the actual program. Did my task for our project in Biology 1 laboratory and checked my e-mail.
After that, I again asked Wale through SMS where she is and where are we going to meet in MOA. Then she replied that she won't be going with us since she has an exam in DLS-CSB tomorrow morning. She told me that Omar and company will be going to Greenbelt instead. I asked omar through SMS but did not receive an immediate reply. So I decided to go to MOA alone to buy myself a new leather wallet.
It was also my first time to go to MOA alone and commute. Nyx was also there with her family and watched a movie. Since I could not contact most of my friends and I felt tired and lazy, I just sat down at the edge on one of the plant boxes in MOA and chain smoked again. Omar told me that he was with Louie and that they were going to Rockwell to meet Kel and will be going back to Greenbelt at around 10pm. That was the time I felt really really lazy and decided to just have some time alone with myself.
As I was going home, Marica called me and I was suprised to see her there considering that MOA is so big. It was their maid's birthday and they went to MOA to somewhat celebrate. Wale was also there at MOA with her dad and his girlfriend. Wale's dad treated us to some beer and then I went home early since my mom was already frustrated and was already looking for me because it was already 10pm. I was still planning to go out with my cousin because I just didn't want to go home but since my mom was already angry, I decided not to go out anymore.
Currently listening to: Cemetery Drive by My Chemical Romance
first blog in blogger
I love multiply but I have decided to create a new blog here in blogger.com. Multiply.com is for happy people and sometimes I don't feel like posting stuff there especially when I'm in a bad mood. This is my multiply site by the way: http://latos.multiply.com. Feel free to visit, it's where I upload all of my pictures.
Actually, this is not my first, I have another account but that's my secret blog and I don't intend to inform everyone I know about it.
Actually, this is not my first, I have another account but that's my secret blog and I don't intend to inform everyone I know about it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
